Enneagram 2 -The Helper -
The one who loves to help and take care of other people, Enneagram type 2 knows that the best way to feel good is giving themselves unconditionally. This kind of hospitality becomes their way of life and influences their decisions. Away from selfishness, the Helper makes others their top priority and worry for their wellness.
Enneagram Type 2: The Helper
Enneagram type two, The helper, is a really hospitable person who’s always trying to please and embrace others. The ones of this kind don’t hesitate to give a hand and give themselves to others to fulfill their needs. That generosity comes from a deep intention, that’s how type 2s are. When disbalanced, they could see love as an investment and their constant sacrifice might turn into disappointment as what they give out might not come back. “All you need is love” is Enneagram type 2’s mantra. Type 2s are the lovers, the kindest, the obliging ones. Now, let’s see how this love engine works.
what motivates enneagram Type 2?
For the Helper there’s nothing more important than love, or even better said “being loved”. As Bob Marley sings: “Could you be loved and be loved?”. They are always wondering if their significant other love them as much as they hope they do, or even more than that. Sometimes enneagram 2s feel a subtle fear, will people stay around if they are not making the effort to feel loved too? Enneagram type 2s feel like people expect them to help, to be generous, to support them. That makes them feel good with themselves and worthy of love. They see the needs of people around them and feel it’s their duty to fulfill them.
How does enneagram type Two think?
Enneagram type two, believe everything is ok when they are being loved. Of course, we all want and need love and to feel loved, but we can’t let other people define our value; type 2s think that the more they sacrifice themselves for others the more they are worthy of love. Love is sacrifice, abnegation. For Enneagram 2s, thinking and taking care of their needs is unfair, selfish and unacceptable. Being selfish is the worst thing they can think of, and they believe nobody loves someone like that. Everything in their life is divided into two opposing sides: being good and helpful (+) or being selfish and only thinking about yourself (-). The Helper feels that being loved requires renouncing to themselves but deep inside they know it’s not a selfless resignation, there’s an implied price within the action itself.
how's enneagram type 2 in love?
Have you ever heard that song by The Cardigans: “love me, love me, say that you love me”?. Well, I’ll take the risk of saying that this song was written by a Two Type, just for this part: “Just say that you need me, I can’t care ’bout anything but you”. In the love field, type 2s are passionate and give everything to their beloved ones. They enjoy long and deep conversations that open the way to what is intimate and most treasured by the other, that’s the most certain way to connect and win their trust and love. That’s the best way to ensure there is a solid relationship between the Helper and their significant other. So, Enneagram type 2s usually seduce people by paying special attention to them. If they feel they are losing their beloved person they can become really possessive and intense by doing whatever they can to keep people close. To feel the right to ask something back, they do more valuable things, so it seems like the other person is in debt with them. These attitudes can be born from an unconscious state of mind which supports old beliefs that sustain dependent relationships.
The best & the worst of the 2s. The light and the Darkness
Most of Enneagram 2’s empathy comes from knowing how it feels to be alone, to need someone or something. They would do anything to prevent other people from living in pain or solitude. But, on the other hand, the Helper ends up feeling like a savior. They feel they must understand and justify other people’s actions and save them. That magnitude of compassion is amazing but can be harmful too, because it turns other people into victims so it can override them. The Helper understands that although healing is a collective process, each person is responsible for their own healing.
Average enneagram Type 2
In the average status, Enneagram 2s are concerned about their relationships. They spend so much time thinking about what to do to get closer to the people they love, and sometimes they plan big gestures to show their affection.That’s because they love to show love but also because they want to make sure that they’re doing enough to be loved back. This could affect Type 2s spontaneity and lead them to suppress their real reactions in order to always please others. They worry about doing something wrong and giving other people reasons to not love them anymore. Anyway, most of the time people feel really comfortable around an Enneagram type 2. They are generous, empathetic and really good listeners.
Unhealthy Enneagram Type 2
On an unhealthy level, type twos start to manipulate people so they love them or feel in debt with them. If nothing they naturally do whatever it takes to attract the ones they love, they even start to act possessively without realizing it’s wrong because in some way they think that’s justified (“Toxic” from Britney Spears is your soundtrack). Recognition and being loved is so important to Enneagram 2s that the fear turns them into an aggressive and selfish lover. Begging for love is such a painful way to live that they get angry. Why do they need to ask for something they deserve? Why does nobody see everything type 2s do for them? Maybe it’s time they give themselves what they expect from other people, otherwise it might feel like being desperate due to lack of sight, while keeping your eyes closed. Type 2, should bite their shadow, they should give it love instead. In any case, in an unhealthy state type 2s can pose like Rose posed for Jack in the Titanic but in their case it would be a baroque painting with them as a martyr instead.
Healthy Enneagram Type 2
Now, let’s talk about the prettier part. We all want to see our best version. Accepting our backlights can be hard but it’s extremely necessary. On a healthy basis, you are deeply dedicated to people, unselfish and compassionate. People love to be around you because you highlight the best of them. It’s a religious experience as Enrique Iglesias said. You love truly, you irradiate love and forgiveness. Nothing is more graceful than seeing you just be yourself because it’s uncommon to feel that kind of warmth. You are an unconditional love source since you are not at war with yourself anymore. You’re unconditional to you, there is no broken mirror now, no more sharp tips in your reflection. There are no threats. Isn’t it interesting that your unhealthy version just shows you that the more you resist to love yourself the less you are able to feel and receive love? You have the key, you can use it to close the door or to open it.
Explore the 9 Personality Types
The Reformer is the idealist and principled. The one who, self-convinced and justice-oriented, raises things up to their highest version.
In love of the love. The Helper is the one who loves to please and irradiate kindness by delivering themselves to others.
The Achiever is an Energic type with a lot of self-awareness that could turn into someone empowered. They are pure potential and determination.
The Individualist, Eternal Walker Of The Inward Halls, Who Can Create A Masterpiece And Has To Trespass Inner Currents To Reach The Natural Self.
The Investigator Of The Golden Source, The Tenacious Explorer Of The Human Mind That Grabs In His Hand Secretive Brilliance.
The Loyalist, Tenacious Guardians Of Their Values, Will Fight For Safety And Consistency. Friendly And Earnest. They Embody The Contradictions.
The Enthusiast, the Multitasker & Cheerful. The One Who Thinks Is Getting Late For Somewhere Or That Is Missing Something Important.
The Challenger, The Rampaging Spirit That Wants To Eat The World. Powerful & Self-Confident Is Always In The Rear Of Life.
The Peacemaker The Reassuring Ones, Who Try To Keep Peace Of Mind And Serenity Whether Inside And Outside Of Them.