You Are Most Like type 1:
In the path towards becoming the highest version of yourself, you are a practical and strong person who takes the time to analyze and discern what’s best. By being consistent with your ideals you expect to reform the world and so you try to strive yourself to reach that goal.
Doing what’s right, fairness, being “good”
Being incorrect, wrong or “bad”
Enneagram 1: Overview
You know that the status-quo is not right and someone has to step out and manifest another reality. It’s not easy, you know that big challenges require big decisions and one of them is to renounce yourself sometimes. But there is no big deal with that, by renouncing yourself it’s the closest you could be to who you are, that’s how you feel. You can ignore the call, you know you can do something to change things, you have the potential. It’s restless, sometimes overwhelming because the Ideal wakes up a Judge inside you, who never sleeps.
Your principles are like law to you, so you feel the need to follow them strictly. Knowing what is right and wrong, makes you a very practical person who easily knows what to do. Although this could also drive you to self-repression to get what needs to be done done. It doesn’t feel bad at that moment since you believe your worth depends on doing what’s right. That’s how you end up transferring your self value over to your values. With a high sense of justice and responsibility, you stand up for your convictions. Your self-awareness allows you to be reflexive and honest with yourself, even though you tend to oversee your behavior instead of having a compassionate look towards yourself. Somebody has to do it to keep order.
How do you think?
You are always playing hopscotch, seeking the Ideal as if it was the sky but with an even more strict rule: keep the balance in just one feet.
So there you are, playing this game just like the crane, resisting gales standing on just one feet but your strong conviction.
Let’s admit that’s admirable but it might be costful. Is it really necessary to prove yourself you can do it? Or is it that you still can see that you are worth even more than the game itself?
You think the world needs you, you are here for a reason so it doesn’t take you long to get involved in what you feel questioned for. You feel a big responsibility over your shoulders and can’t understand how the other people are so inert so you are always paying attention to what you are doing and how big work needs organisation and structure so there you go, you are really good at that.
You love to plan things out and details focused
AFRAID OF FAILURE
You’re a perfectionist in all aspects of life
You are a justice seeker
How do you love?
Love must be the most unbalancing experience we all go through. You, The Reformer, know that better than anyone. Not because it actually disbalances you, but because you are aware of the risk and keep a sharp eye on your significant other’s values too. It’s important to share principles and perspectives since they are the ground, the solid base upon which you can build anything. So when it comes to love, you are very concerned about the other’s ideals, and you have your red flags very clearly established.
The problem is when you try to adjust that other person to your ideals, which can bring disagreements and disappointments. Here is where you learn to be more flexible, and open-minded towards other ways of life while still living yours. Sometimes it is good to only gaze at people for a while to discover the beauty and ideals they conjugate.
Enneagram 1 Wing 9:
The Idealist. You can easily see the “Big Picture” with an objective and reflexive perspective. It’s not difficult for you to communicate your ideal because of your sweetness and flexibility. This is your sparkle because nobody feels like being lectured but everyone learns from you and feels inspired.
Enneagram 1 Wing 2:
The Lawyer. You are not afraid to go in the rear. You want to be heard so you take your time to define the better and more effective ways to get what you want and to foster the people to see what you can see. You are more energetic and outgoing than the other subtype. The interaction nurtures your rhetoric abilities and if you don’t feel satisfied with your performance you could be tough and aggressive to yourself and the others.
The Average One
On a common day, you are energetic and purposeful. Always trying to take meaningful actions with an organized schedule. It’s not difficult for you to focus and determine what is right from what is not. So there you go, walking through life with your ideal bar, measuring everything that comes across you (If you were wondering why raccoons and squirrels run from you here’s why.) You have wonderful ideas on how to change things for the better. You also have a stubborn conviction, which is fundamental to materialize projects and that makes you a natural leader most of the time. But without kindness and patience you can also be your own tyrant. Sometimes you can worry about being inconsistent or about people noticing that you are not adjusted perfectly to your own ideals, which can make you feel constantly seen or tense.
The Healthy One
When you feel drowning just stretch your legs, you are near the ground. Maybe you can try to stop fighting yourself or measuring each thing you do or think. As you already know, big things take time. Do you know how much time it takes for a seed to grow?
Try to be flexible, keep in mind that everyone has their own path and progress is not linear. It’s not a one way trail. Everyone has different goals to achieve and lessons to learn, different experiences that have nuanced their way of perceiving reality. Even you. Our main challenge is to get to our natural selves, to perceive life as a river perceives movement. So, be patient, work hard while still being kind. Pay attention to your feelings and your body so you don’t wait until you reach your limits to make necessary decisions. This will save you time and effort. Also, every once in a while try something that you wouldn’t normally try just to develop new skills and explore things beyond your field. And remember, some people are not inert by decision but by fear. Don’t be hard on them, be creative. It’s easy to talk to people that think like us. The real challenge is conveying your perspective to someone who thinks differently.
The Unhealthy One
When you’re in an unhealthy state of mind nothing is ever enough for you, especially yourself (Avoid getting into mirror labyrinths in those times). You are like the dog that tries to bite its own tail, or a kid scared of its own shadow. As you can see, if you stick to your commitment to your ideals or thoughts, it will be difficult for you to deal with unexpected situations or disruptions, or even take advantage of them. You can’t tolerate things you can’t control and if you just push yourself out of the line for a moment you feel betrayed. Learn to forgive yourself, my friend.
Tips to Help You Grow:
Ask yourself what is success for you, write it down. List all the achievements you got and what did you receive because of them, who are the people involved in those memories and what did they tell you? This check will help you analyze where the adiccion to success originates. Liberation of your own pressure will be like going out to the surface of the sea.
Being the best is good but being you meanwhile is good too. What’s the sense of reaching your high standards if you can’t be joyful in the process? Let me tell you something: you can get both, and that’s the real best of the best.
Your Main Challenges:
How to address them?
You have interpersonal skills when in a good trade, let’s develop the intrapersonal ones so you can release other people, and let them be and love in their own way.
Talk and share how you feel. Work on trust and assume you want to change your insecurity. If you communicate to your circle of beloved people that you’re working on, maybe they can help you.
LACK OF LOVE
Don’t beg for love. Let relationships oxygen. When you are overthinking try to recognize that’s your fear, embrace it and wait. Remember the times you feel beloved.
How To Be The Best Version Of The yourself?
How can I be less self-demanding?
Once in a while, write down all your thoughts as they come, try not to overthink it and judge them for the moment. Just write everything you think in the order you think it comes to you. It doesn’t matter if the thoughts overlap or if there are abrupt changes of subject. Write them down as if you were predicting the numbers of the lottery. When you blank out and there is nothing else to write down, read it peacefully and notice how you are talking to yourself. Are you being nice? Are you aware of your achievements? How do you comfort yourself in sadness? Considering how you treat yourself, would you be your friend? These answers are the password that unlocks another level of self-consciousness, and that, my friend, is like truly winning the lottery.
Why am I always chasing perfection?
If I am good enough I’ll be seen. Just by being good enough I will be worth it.
That is what the Enneagram One feels deep down. Maybe, when you were a kid, you felt alone and didn’t recognize true references, or somehow you got the message that your needs weren’t valid enough. Or pheraphs, you felt like you were always in debt with the present and so you always needed to pursue bigger things to be up to what it takes to make your ideals come true. Anyway, no matter which message you get, understanding that all the messages are constructions, will make you feel empowered to build and rebuild new messages around your existence and not always taking the same side, and defending the same truth as if it was the only one.
Why do I sometimes feel very frustrated and angry?
Anger it’s a curious thing. It kind of only exists as an indicator of something else, could be a fear or a desire. Maybe you are scared of yourself, scared of what you could be if you loosen the rope that keeps you in place. You may think you are too rational, but the truth it’s that you put a huge effort to restrain yourself to the imaginary line you’ve created: the right place, the safe place. All this repression doesn’t allow you to breathe and explore life with freedom.
If someone you love is always telling you how to behave in order to love you back, will you stand it and feel loved by them?
How can I enjoy myself while chasing my dreams?
If you feel like you had no one you could look up to as a kid or if you went through painful or unpleasant experiences, then you have most likely created your own version of the world. A world that made you the best version of yourself and helped you make the most of life. Having no references or connections with someone that inspired you, might have eventually made you feel lonely and not loved at all. So, for you having become that adult means you are now the adult you needed to have around growing up. But we always replicate what we learn and often can’t connect to that exemplar figure we have become. We separate our ideal self from our own selves, as if they were completely different things. As if our only valuable selves were those imaginary or made-up versions as opposed to our very own real self. The one that exists right here, right now, inside of us. Forgiveness is a truly powerful tool you can use to look without any judgement to those who hurted you before, from whom you received the message you weren’t enough, and understand that they needed the same that you need. We only give others what we can give ourselves.