You Are Most Like, type 3:
Energetic and purposeful you are the ones who foster the people to do great and big things. You know it’s possible because you’ve done it. What seems to be hard, you can achieve it. A lot of people feel inspired by you and your self-esteem.
To be valued and admired
Enneagram 3: Overview
Let’s talk about you, Type 3. You’re The Model, The Communicator, The Status Seeker. When you meet your purpose, nothing can hold you back. That determination is crucial to keep you in tune with your main interest: success. You can always go higher, do things better and stand out. That’s your style and it works well for you until you feel under pressure. When that happens you can’t rest but you also can’t quit. People, put your sunglasses on because the 3s are ready to shine!
If I do things right, if I have success I´ll be worth it. You want to feel valuable and accepted. The only way you know to get that is to live an extraordinary life. Self value is a merit that will increase upon your success. You think and organise towards an objective, and work hard to stand out in what you do. Very self oriented and pragmatic, it becomes easy for you to triumph. The unfunctional thing is that sometimes you ignore your feelings since you consider they delay your action and could distract you. As a consequence, you end up feeling disconnected from your deeper interests.
How do you think?
If I do it right and I succeed I’ll be worth it. You want to feel valuable and accepted. The only way you know to achieve that is by living an extraordinary life. Self value is a merit that will increase upon your success. You plan ahead and aim towards your goals, and work hard to stand out in what you do. You are very self oriented and pragmatic, which makes it easy for you to triumph. The only thing that makes you unfunctional is that sometimes you ignore your feelings as you believe they delay your action and could potentially distract you. As a consequence, you end up feeling disconnected from your deeper interests.
DRIVE TO SUCCEED
You’re goal-focused and ambitious
You struggle with expressing your feelings
Great leader, you encourage those around you
How do you love?
You are seductive and constantly trying to emphasize your high qualities. You show yourself exceptional and unreachable like a star but you are bone-dry by attention and admiration. You want to be someone that the other can never forget. Despite you acting like you need no one, you are scared of connecting deeply with other people so you try to not get involved or to hide feelings considering emotions can overlap with goals and that’s not practical or can impact on your effectiveness.
Enneagram 3 Wing 2:
Amazing social skills and great sense of humor, you are the party soul. You could be misinterpreted by a Seven type because they are very outstanding too. Friendly like the 2s and high personal performance just like the uncomparable 3s. You love to shine and highlight.
Enneagram 3 Wing 4:
Let me give you a really “friendly” example: Rachel Green. You, like Rachel, love to stand out in everything you do, especially work. You run after achievements and recognition. Considered as someone professional and high valued is a permanent concern you have.
The Best & The Worst Of Your Personality Type
Self-esteem is what characterizes Enneagram type 3. All the other types look at you desiring to have the ability to have that great notion of yourself. The rest of the earthlings have it hard sometimes so we see in you a model, an inspiration. Because you go towards what you want, you have plenty of consciousness about your virtues and limitations and don’t take it seriously (or that’s what it seems) but what nobody knows is that it’s hard being you, being all the time thinking if you are fulfilling the image you made of yourself. What happens if you don’t get what you determine as the purpose?
The Average three
Sometimes that high self-esteem could rise up to the sky and you feel like Daenerys but without the dragons. This overreaction related to your self perception could run into a constant comparison with others. In the average behaviour, you are ambitious, always seeking high status. You feel insecure, and the more insecure you feel the more self promotion you do. This works hiding your true needs thinking like maybe if you convince other people of your value you could convince yourself too.
The Healthy you
You feel valuable and useful, productive and full. No one can tell you who you are or that you are a failure because that’s not your ghost anymore. You already learned that there is nothing to win, you already have the essential: yourself. The other people look is not a limitation but a firewood that stocks your fire because it inspires you to be better but it’s not your main source of nurturing. You are secure, persistent and focused. You start to thrive because your organisation and balance improves your work. The best is this well-managed energy could drive your gifts to good causes and help other people.
The Unhealthy you
“My unhealthy state is the best unhealthy in the world because I know the best way to be a good unhealthy” said a type 3… never. It’s difficult to admit but behind those amazing and thrilled glory gestures there is a lot of pain and emptiness. You start to lie about yourself, you fool yourself and others. With all the energy spent to hold up your circus, we could build three times the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway. This frustration could appear in the shape of anger and hostility. Appearance turns, finally, in the projection of what you desire but not what you really are.
Tips to Help You Grow:
Ask yourself what is success for you, write it down. List all the achievements you got and what did you receive because of them, who are the people involved in those memories and what did they tell you? This check will help you analyze where the adiccion to success originates. Liberation of your own pressure will be like going out to the surface of the sea.
Being the best is good but being you meanwhile is good too. What’s the sense of reaching your high standards if you can’t be joyful in the process? Let me tell you something: you can get both, and that’s the real best of the best.
I know, we have so much expectation over ourselves. We want to live meaningful lives and be the most incredible version of ourselves but, maybe it’s time to understand that humility and honesty is the direction to self acceptance. And self acceptance is a faster road to be a better person and successful in what we choose as our goal. So that’s the trick for you, the effectiveness freak: release a bit and you will get, accept who you are then you are able to be who you dream.
Your Main Challenges:
How to address them?
You talk a lot about yourself to avoid people asking who you really are. Narcissism is nothing but the opposite of what you really do, which is ignoring your heart. Try to remember when you started to be more narcissist, why does it feel like a great response. Then examine yourself, isn’t it exhausting to be always remembering other people how much you are worth?
Be aware of your effort to shine and stand out. Think about why you do that, with kindness, don’t be ashamed but pay attention to your desperate actions for recognition.
Related with the previous one, recognize yourself. Tell you how important and valuable you are. You’ve developed a great method and abilities to achieve things, that’s amazing. But don’t do it for the wrong reason. Do it with purpose and practice unconditional love with you.
How To Be The Best Version Of The yourself?
How can I be kind to myself whether I succeed or not?
First of all, don’t blame mercury retrograde and accept who you are. Nothing is so final that it can define you completely. You are way more than your success or failures. Don’t take this the wrong way, your energy and self-promotion are good. Keep them up! But don’t let it go out of control either. It’s important for you to be at least honest and true to yourself. These are your virtues and vices. What is not going the way you planned? What are you having difficulties with? Then, if you want to sell another image to people, that’s fine. But don’t fool yourself. Beyond that, what’s the point of showing an unreal you? Maybe it is the desire to fulfill your own expectations of yourself, but this can also come from the fear of not being as successful as you think you are. Genuine relationships only grow on fertile soil, with transparency and honesty. Think that not showing yourself as you truly are can prevent you from trusting other people as you could suspect they might be doing the same to you. And that’s when your mind recalls all the soap operas you’ve seen so far.
How can I explore my virtues without forgetting myself?
Choose paths fulfilled with heart. The warm-hearted paths are the ones that give us integrity and energy to keep connecting back and forth. Take your time, you don’t need to get it done today. You don’t need to accomplish anything but your wellness. That’s your starting point to anything else. Remember that you are much more than your goals. Try to imagine yourself watching your whole life, a life where you’re going to achieve every goal you set for yourself. What would be the subtle and essential sense then? What’s life, indeed? How do you want to feel during the succession of glories and what’s really important?
Why is it so difficult to identify when I am exceeding my achievement?
You usually run after your goals with all your energy and persistence. It seems like you are doing fine, you don’t feel tired at all, but there are little voices, small red flags that you are constantly ignoring. Try to sharpen your ear, to spread your goals over slightly longer periods so you can notice when something is going out of base. Don’t wait to be overwhelmed and far from home to find a way back. Draw yourself the way home. How? By doing exactly what you are scared of: letting some people (the ones you trust) get to know you. Share, communicate your vulnerabilities, talk about them. If you can’t talk about something, ask yourself why.
What happens if I disappoint people?
Oh, that’s a good one. What happens if you disappoint people? Well, what will happen is that you might learn a thing or two about them, not just about you. Disappointment will tell you about other people’s expectations, desires and manners. This will also help you measure how important that person is to you. You could evaluate your attitudes and behaviors and think about what kind of relationship you want to build. Besides you can see how they react over their own failed expectations. You will find a way to exchange thoughts and feelings if it’s worth it. We all disappoint someone eventually. Even ourselves. But that’s why forgiveness and communication are the foundation of life. Being perfect all the time is for Sim’s and even they burn their own houses down sometimes.