What It's Like To Be An Enneagram 3

You Are Most Like type 3:
The Achiever

Energetic and purposeful, Enneagram type 3s are those people that encourage others to do great and big things. You know it’s possible because you’ve done it yourself. You can achieve what other people have a hard time trying to achieve. A lot of people feel inspired by the Achiever and the Achiever’s self-esteem.

CORE DESIRE:

Being valued and admired

CORE FEAR:

Being worthless

Enneagram 3: Overview

Let’s talk about the Enneagram Type 3. You’re The Model, The Communicator, The Status Seeker. When you meet your purpose, nothing can hold you back. That determination is crucial to keep Enneagram Type 3s in tune with your main interest: success. You can always go higher, do things better, and stand out. That’s The Achiever style and it works well for you until you feel under pressure. When faced with this, as a Type Three you can’t rest, but you also can’t quit. People, put your sunglasses on because the 3s are ready to shine!

What Motivates

you?

The Achiever is really motivated by success. It’s your happiness, your true life goal—the very thing that pushes you forward. Enneagram Type 3s seem unstoppable, and it’s kinda true. Nothing can stop you unless it is within your desire. You are aware of your virtues and what you are good at. False modesty is not really your thing. You like to talk about your achievements, duties, dreams, and how close you are to reaching them, but not in a pretentious way. Type Threes are just really committed to energy and purpose.

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How do you think?

“If I do it right and I succeed, I’ll be worth it.” Enneagram 3s want to feel valuable and accepted. The only way you know how to achieve this is by living an extraordinary life. Self-worth is a merit that will increase upon your success. The Achiever plans ahead, aims towards your goals, and works hard to stand out in what you do. You are very self-oriented and pragmatic, which makes it easy for you to triumph. The only thing that makes Enneagram Type 3s dysfunctional is the fact that you sometimes ignore your feelings as you believe feelings delay your action and could potentially distract you. As a consequence, Type 3s end up feeling disconnected from deeper interests.

90%

VERY HIGH

DRIVE TO SUCCEED

You’re goal-focused and ambitious

PHLEGMATIC

You struggle with expressing your feelings

30%

LOW

85%

VERY HIGH

ENERGETIC

Great leader, you encourage those around you

How do you love?

You are seductive and constantly trying to emphasize your high qualities. You show yourself exceptional and unreachable like a star but you are bone-dry by attention and admiration. You want to be someone that the other can never forget. Despite you acting like you need no one, you are scared of

connecting deeply with other people so you try to not get involved or to hide feelings considering emotions can overlap with goals and that’s not practical or can impact on your effectiveness.

Enneagram Wings

Enneagram 3 Wing 2:

The Charming

This subtype is well-known for not going unnoticed. You stand out from the crowd, like the party soul you are. You are friendly but self-focused at the same time. This confidence makes being around you quite enjoyable and astonishing. The Charming subtype loves to shine; you don’t settle for less. In an unhealthy state, you hide your feelings and don’t want to show your vulnerabilities.

Enneagram 3 Wing 4:

The Professional

Let us give you a really “friendly” example: Rachel Green. This subtype is the one who’s always trying to do better and give a better performance. So, it’s very important for you to feel appreciated. In your skills deployment, you like to feel valued and challenged. As you love to achieve new goals and keep going higher, you feel the need to succeed. This need can eventually place great pressure on you.

The Average three

Sometimes that high self-esteem can rise up to the sky and Enneagram type 3s can feel like Daenerys without the dragons. This overreaction to your self-perception could cause you to constantly compare yourself to others. As far as average behavior goes, Type 3s are ambitious, always seeking a higher status. But you also feel insecure, and the more you do, the more you self-promote. The Achiever hides its true needs, believing that if you can convince other people of your value, you can convince yourself too.

The Healthy you

Enneagram type 3s feel valuable and useful, productive and fulfilled. No one can tell you who you are and say you are a failure because that ghost does not haunt you anymore. Type 3s have already learned that there is nothing to win; you already have what is essential: yourself. The way other people see you is no longer a limitation, but rather a firewood fueling your fire. The views of others inspire Type 3s to be better, but they are not your main source of nurturing. Achievers are secure, persistent, and focused. You start to thrive because organization and balance improves your work. The best part is that this well-managed energy can lead to Type Threes using talents for good causes and to help other people, enhancing the world and making it a better place.

The Unhealthy you

“My unhealthy state is the best unhealthy state in the world because I know the best way to be unhealthy,” said a type 3… never. It’s hard to admit, but behind those amazing and thrilled glory gestures there is a lot of pain and emptiness. Type 3s begin to create lies, fooling yourself and others. With all the energy spent to hold up your circus, one could build the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway three times. This frustration can often appear in the shape of anger and hostility. Eventually, appearance finally turns into the projection of what Enneagram Type 3s desire, but not what you really are.

Tips to Help You Grow:

Ask yourself: what is success to me? Write down your answer. List all the achievements you made and what you received because of them, as well as the people involved in those memories and all that they taught you. This check will help you analyze where the addiction to success originates. Liberation from pressuring yourself will be like going out to the surface of the calm sea. Being the best is good, but being you, meanwhile, is good too. What’s the sense of reaching your high standards if you can’t be joyful in the process? Let me tell you something: you can get both, and that’s the real best of the best.

.

I know—we have so many expectations of ourselves. We want to live meaningful lives and be the most incredible version of ourselves, but maybe it’s time to understand that humility and honesty lead us in the direction of self-acceptance. And self-acceptance is a faster road to becoming a better person and more successful in what you choose as your goal. So, that’s the trick for you, the effective commander: let go a bit and you will achieve your goals; accept who you are and you will be able to be who you dream.

Your Main Challenges:
How to address them?

NARCISSISM

You talk a lot about yourself to avoid people asking who you really are. Narcissism is nothing but the opposite of what you are really doing, which is ignoring your heart. Try to remember when you started to be more narcissistic. Why did you respond in this way? Then, examine yourself; isn’t it exhausting to be constantly reminding other people how much you are worth?

SELF-DISCONNECTION

Be aware of your effort to shine and stand out. With kindness, think about why you do that; don’t be ashamed, but pay attention to your desperate actions for recognition.

FORGIVENESS

Related to the previous point, take note of yourself. Tell yourself how important and valuable you are. You’ve developed a great method and wonderful abilities to achieve things, and these are amazing. But don’t use them for the wrong reasons. Use them with purpose and practice having unconditional love with yourself.

How To Be The Best Version Of The yourself?

How can I be kind to myself whether I succeed or not?

First of all, don’t blame mercury retrograde and accept who you are. Nothing is so final that it can define you completely. You are far more than your success or failures. Don’t take this the wrong way, your energy and self-promotion are good. Keep them up! But don’t let them get out of control either. It’s important for you to be at least honest and true to yourself. These are your virtues and vices. What things are not going the way you planned? What are you having difficulties with? After considering these and you still want to sell another image to others, that’s fine. But, don’t fool yourself. Besides, what’s the point of portraying an unreal you? Maybe it is the desire to fulfill your own expectations of yourself, but this can also come from the fear of not being as successful as you think you are. Genuine relationships only grow on fertile soil, with transparency and honesty. Realize that not portraying yourself as you truly are can prevent you from trusting other people, as you could suspect they might be doing the same to you. (And that’s when your mind recalls all the soap operas you’ve seen so far.)

How can I explore my virtues without forgetting myself?

Choose paths filled with heart. The warm-hearted paths are the ones that give us integrity and energy to keep connecting back and forth. Take your time; you don’t need to get it done today. You don’t need to accomplish anything but your wellness. This is your starting point. Remember that you are much more than your goals. Try to imagine yourself watching your whole life, a life where you’re going to achieve every goal you set for yourself. What would be the essential sense then? What’s life, indeed? How do you want to feel as you achieve the glory of success and what is actually important?

Why is it so difficult to identify when I am exceeding my achievement?

You usually run after your goals with all your energy and persistence. It seems like you are doing fine; you don’t feel tired at all—but there are little voices, small red flags that you are constantly ignoring. Try to sharpen your ear, to spread your goals over slightly longer periods so you can notice when something is going off-base. Don’t wait to be overwhelmed and far from home to find a way back. Detail the way home for yourself. How? By doing exactly what you are scared of letting some people (the ones you trust) get to know you. Share, communicate your vulnerabilities, and talk about them. If you can’t talk about something, ask yourself why.

What happens if I disappoint people?

Oh, that’s a good one. What happens if you disappoint people? Well, what will happen is that you might learn a thing or two about them, not just about you. Disappointment will tell you about other people’s expectations, desires, and manners. This will also help you measure how important that person is to you. You can evaluate your attitudes and behaviors and think about what kind of relationship you want to build. In addition, you can observe how they react over their own failed expectations. You will find a way to exchange thoughts and feelings if it’s worth it. We all disappoint someone eventually, even ourselves. But that’s why forgiveness and communication are the foundations of life. Being perfect all the time is exclusively for Sims and even they burn their own houses down sometimes.