Enneagram Type 8 in A Relationship with Type 8
What each Type Brings to the Relationship?
Like all double-type relationships, two Eights generally offer each other the same qualities. They are strong-willed independent thinkers who have the ability to make decisions and the desire to get things done and see practical results: they don’t like to just talk about their future goals, they enjoy making them happen.
Both Eights will bring a strong energy, liveliness and passion to their relationship. This combination is strong as both parties are intensely involved with each other. Paradoxically, when two Eights get together, they can both stimulate each other and help them relax at the same time. They usually feel that they have finally met someone with a similar energy level with whom they can relax and focus their attention in other interests. Eights also feel they are able to relax when together as they trust each other’s values and abilities: They know that they have what it takes to be a good team and feel safe, secure, and stable. “We’ve got it covered” is a phrase that defines the kind of energy that a double-Eight couple projects.
We could say that rather than just high-energy, their trademark is their high confidence as they feel free and happy to have found a trustworthy person who’s as strong as they are. All of this can lead to a feeling of mutual respect, direct and assertive communication, the ability to talk about their needs and to limit their boundaries. This amazing pair of incredibly strong people is able to build together a huge empire in which both members strongly support and motivate each other.
Potential Conflicts and Disagreements
Although this couple has strong and positive qualities, it also has negative ones. This Enneagram combination can be extremely volatile, highly controlling and with lots of ego on display. As both of them are egocentric, they can easily get into competition as it’s difficulty for lower functioning Eights to reach real balance. The main issue between them can be their tendency towards control. Being or staying in control will likely be the center of many of their conflicts, especially because Eights hate the idea of being considered weak in any way.
Eights are also widely known for their hair-trigger tempers and a certain degree of suspiciousness and skepticism. Their sudden paranoia and desire for control may lead them to test their partner’s loyalty and to an increasing suspicion. Verbal and physical abuse can get out of hand. None of them likes the idea of being the first ones to back down in a conflict and it can get very difficult for them to apologize. Nonetheless, one of them will always make the final decision, and unless they learn how to communicate effectively with each other, they will probably leave the other in tears. No matter how crazy it may sound, Eights can be surprisingly thin skinned and get easily hurt.
In short, there is often too much bluntness and curtness between them that can easily escalate into an open battle. Power struggles will never cease and they will simply take turns hurting each other until there is a last straw that breaks the camel’s back.