Enneagram Type 6 in A Relationship with Type 8
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship?
Enneagrams Sixes and Eights can have an extraordinarily strong, long-lasting relationship if they are willing to. These types often feel that most people are self-centered and untrustworthy which makes the world a highly unpredictable place. That’s why Eights believe in the importance of taking care of themselves and their own interests, while Sixes believe in the importance of having strong allies and the ability to find support on their friends. Both Sixes and Eights have deep trust issues: they usually find it really hard to find trustworthy people, but once they do – and after some testing period – their alliance will be solid and deep. Once they form a bond with someone, they truly commit to it on a deep level and although the relationship may change over time, they are never indifferent to each other.
They both bring positive aptitudes to the relationship, such as strength, steadiness, commitment, unquestioned loyalty, trustworthiness, courage, hard work and protection. They are also intelectual types who bring skepticism, analytic thinking, and the ability to foresee different outcomes and potential problems.
On one hand, Sixes tend to act as supervisors and advisors to Eights who tend to call the shots and provide a vision of audacity that Sixes may need. On the other, Eights bring frankness, a strong will power, confidence, a can-do spirit that makes them ready to face any type of challenge. When they are together, Sixes tend to look up to Eights as a true hero, while Eights are moved by Sixes’ solidity and kindred spirit. When there is genuine affection between these two types, there may be fireworks and occasional fights, but the bond only seems to grow stronger with time.
Potential Conflicts and Disagreements
This couple’s main conflict has to do with their mismanaged sensitiveness as both types are highly emotional, even though they try to hide their feelings and vulnerabilities the best they can. Whenever they feel vulnerable or defenseless, they tend to counterattack to protect themselves. Eights usually call the shots in the relationships: they set the tone and make the decisions. They also usually expect to be followed and obeyed by people around them since they are the ones calling the shots.
Sixes are mostly fine with it, except when they feel the need to push back and prove others they are true independent leaders that can’t be taken advantage of. Some Sixes may tolerate Eights’ attitude until they reach a limit and start fighting to mark the territory and see how far they can push Eights. While more fearful, shy or anxious Sixes tend to avoid confrontation and accept Eight’s dominance.
These differences between them may lead to fights over power. The main issues in this relationship can be aggravated by Eights’ tendency to get into angry rants, and threat or bully Sixes. If respect and trust limits are crossed the constant tension between them may bring the relationship to an end.