Enneagram Type 3 in A Relationship with Type 8

Enneagram Type 3 The Achiever

How Does Each Enneagram Type Enhance the Relationship?

These Enneagram types make a highly powerful couple in which passion and personal stimulation never ends. They can’t avoid noticing each other and interacting with each other either in a positive or a negative way. If they are healthy enough, they may form an alliance that will enhance both sides, but when they’re not, they may compete with each other. 

Both types are assertive and determined: Threes and Eights are always willing to go after whatever they want. Both can be outstanding figures in one way or the other since they usually stand out in their social circles. 

On one hand, Eight’s strength and solidness allow Threes to open up and become more empathetic: Eights are reliable and Threes look for a safe place to open their hearts. Eights also enjoy feeling that Threes use the opportunity to face any challenge that may arise. On the other hand, Eights can relax once they realize their partner is competent and can do things on their own. Both Threes and Eights are action-oriented, pragmatic and willing to call the shots in order to achieve their goals.

Threes bring more awareness, empathy and a special pleasure in pleasing people to the relationship. They are more diplomatic and flexible than Eights, both in the love relationship and regarding others. Eights, on the other hand, bring honesty, audacity and determination to achieve personal goals. They also bring strictness, decisiveness and strength that more flexible Threes can nourish from. 

They feel proud of each other and support their accomplishments. They don’t usually compete with each other, which is surprising since they both tend to compete with others.

Possible Conflicts and Differences of Opinion:

Both types can thrive in places where energy, determination and personal drive are needed to achieve success. Threes and Eights are workaholics and determined to achieve goals and to put themselves under stressful situations if needed to achieve their life goals. 

On one hand, Eights are more openly controlling than Threes, although Threes may secretly attempt to control situations or try to hide their need to control. This behavior may foster Eight’s suspicions and lack of trust.

Once trust is compromised, Eights can get jealous and possessive, and will overthink everything to prove Three’s loyalty to them. In that case, Threes might feel used, not appreciated and supported, while Eights might begin to demand loyalty and even obedience. Threes will probably start feeling Eight’s company as a barrier to their freedom and liberty. They might also feel that their ability to pursue their own goals is suddenly blocked.

In response to these conditions, both types can become manipulative to get what they want. Once that happens, trust and openness cannot be kept. Besides, none of them have the ability to talk about their real feelings or needs, nor do they feel comfortable being vulnerable. For both, isolation is the only way and it might be difficult to break through that. Eights may see Threes as evasive and untrustworthy while Threes may see Eighths as willful and vengeful. 

Besides, Eights ultimately want to be supported while Threes look for their own growth and being admired by others. Battles over who is more supportive or whose agenda will prevail may arise. Which may lead to a deep, nasty and personal breakup.

Get to know your Enneagram Compatibility with Other Enneagram Types