You Are Most Like type 1:
The Reformer
On the path towards becoming the highest version of yourself, Enneagram Type Ones tend to be practical and strong people who take the time to analyze and discern what’s best. By being consistent with your ideals, you expect to reform the world and strive to reach that goal.
CORE DESIRE:
Doing what’s right, fairness, being “good”
CORE FEAR:
Being incorrect, wrong or “bad”
Enneagram 1: Overview
You know that the status-quo is not right and someone has to step out and manifest another reality. It’s not easy; you know that big challenges require big decisions and at times one of them is to renounce yourself. However, this is not a big deal; in renouncing yourself you are the closest you can be to who you are; your genuine feelings can be felt. You can ignore the call. You know you can do something to change things—you have the potential. It’s restless and sometimes overwhelming because the Ideal wakes up a Judge inside you who never sleeps.
What Motivates you?
The Reformer’s principles are like law to you, so you feel the need to follow them strictly. Knowing what is right and wrong makes Enneagram Type Ones very practical people who easily know what to do. You are focused on the right/wrong side of things and there is no middle ground. However, this could also drive you to self-repression; in an effort to please others yet not appear “needy,” you may end up doing things yourself rather than communicate to others how things should be done. It doesn’t feel bad at that moment since you believe your worth depends on doing what’s right. That’s how you end up transferring your self-value over to your other values. With a high sense of justice and responsibility, as an Enneagram Type One you stand up for your convictions. Your self-awareness allows you to be reflective and honest with yourself, even though you tend to review and judge your behavior instead of having a compassionate look towards yourself. Somebody has to do it to keep order.
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How do you think?
You are always playing hopscotch, seeking the Ideal as if it was the sky but with an even stricter rule: keep the balance on just one foot. So there you are, playing this game just like a crane stands on one foot resisting gales, but instead you are standing on your strong conviction. We admit that this is admirable, but it may come with a price. Is it really necessary to prove to yourself you can do it? Or can you still see that you are worth even more than the game itself? You think the world needs you; you are here for a reason so it doesn’t take you long to get involved in what you feel is being asked of you. You feel a big responsibility on your shoulders and can’t understand the lack of inertia in others. Because of this, you are always paying attention to what you are doing and understand the need for organization and structure, especially in big work. So, you find yourself taking over and filling this need; you are really good at that.
90%
very high
ORGANIZED
You love to plan things out and details focused
30%
very high
AFRAID OF FAILURE
You’re a perfectionist in all aspects of life
65%
very high
ETHICAL
You are a justice seeker
How do you love?
Love must be the most unbalancing experience we all go through. The Reformer knows that better than anyone. Not because it actually imbalances you, but because as an Enneagram One, you are aware of the risk and keep a sharp eye on your significant other’s values too. It’s important to share principles and perspectives since they are the foundation and the solid basis upon which you can build anything. So when it comes to love, Type Ones are very concerned about others’ ideals, and you have your red flags very clearly established.
However, problems arise when you try to conform that other person to your ideals; this can often bring disagreements and disappointments. Here is where Enneagram 1s learn to be more flexible and open-minded towards other ways of life while still living yours. Although you tend to gravitate towards “My way or the highway” type of thinking, Ones need to learn that it is sometimes better to gaze at people without judgment for a while to discover the beauty and ideals inside.
Enneagram Wings
Enneagram 1 Wing 9:
The Idealist
The one that is always able to see the “bigger picture.” Gifted with objectivity and reflexive abilities, the idealist grows to be an open-minded person with a sharp perspective. You are communicative and flexible so it’s not difficult for you to connect with people, as others feel inspired instead of judged by the brilliance of the idealist. As an Idealist, you can find the balance between rationality and calm to ease your self-demanding nature.
Enneagram 1 Wing 2:
The Lawyer
Defined by its powerful and energetic manners, this wing likes to accept challenges and do whatever it takes—sometimes even aggressively—to reach its goals. Outgoing and strategic, you show off your lawyer skills to make people see what they see. It’s important for you to set your perspective. You feel very comfortable interacting with other people, which increases your rhetorical abilities. This wing pays a lot of attention to its performance.
The Average One
On a common day, Type Ones are energetic and purposeful, always trying to take meaningful actions with an organized schedule. It’s not difficult for you to focus and determine what is right from what is not. So there Enneagram 1s go, walking through life with your ideal bars, measuring everything that comes across you (If you wonder why raccoons and squirrels run from you, here’s why). Enneagram 1s have wonderful ideas on how to change things for the better. You also have stubborn convictions, which is fundamental to materialize projects and makes a Type One a natural leader most of the time. However, without kindness and patience you can also be your own tyrant. Sometimes as a Type One you can worry about being inconsistent or about people noticing that you are not adjusted perfectly to your own ideals, which can make you feel constantly seen or tense.
The Healthy One
In a healthy state, The Reformer feels calm, pleased with yourself and your environment. You achieve an emotional independence, free of external acceptance or third-party approval because Type Ones are aligned with a very intimate purpose. It’s ok to be you. You are on the “correct” path. Constantly learning and becoming more comprehensive with your own pace makes it easier for Type Ones to understand the rhythm of others too. You feel inspired by your own dreams. Doing what you have to do in order to achieve bigger goals is what makes Enneagram 1s feel comfortable and vibrant.
As a Reformer Type you are now wise, keeping both feet on the ground and your heart up in the sky. You know and accept reality, and you don’t fight it anymore because you’ve discovered that this is where the power of transformation lies. As Eckhart Tolle says: “Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.”
The Unhealthy One
When The Reformer is in an unhealthy state of mind, nothing is ever enough for you, especially yourself (you should avoid getting into mirror labyrinths during these periods). Type Ones are like dogs that try to bite their own tail or a kid scared of its own shadow. As you can see, if, as Enneagram 1s, you stick to your commitment regarding your ideals or thoughts, it will be difficult for you to deal with unexpected situations or disruptions, or even take advantage of them. You can’t tolerate things you can’t control, and if you just push yourself out of the line for even a moment you feel betrayed. You need to learn to forgive yourself.
Tips to Help You Grow:
Ask yourself: what is success to me? Write down your answer. List all the achievements you made and what you received because of them, as well as the people involved in those memories and all that they taught you. This check will help you analyze where the addiction to success originates. Liberation from pressuring yourself will be like going out to the surface of the calm sea.
Being the best is good, but being you, meanwhile, is good too. What’s the sense of reaching your high standards if you can’t be joyful in the process? Let me tell you something: you can get both, and that’s the real best of the best.
Your Main Challenges: How to address them?
POSSESSIVENESS
You have interpersonal skills when in a good trade; let’s develop the intrapersonal ones so you can release other people and let them be themselves and love in their own way.
INSECURITY
Talk and share how you feel. Work on trust and assume you want to change your insecurity. If you communicate with your circle of beloved people that you’re working on building, they may be able to help you.
LACK OF LOVE
Don’t beg for love. Let relationships breathe. When you are overthinking, try to recognize that it is coming from your fear; embrace it and wait. Remember the times you feel beloved.
How To Be The Best Version Of The yourself?
How can I be less self-demanding?
Once in a while, write down all your thoughts as they come. Try not to overthink them and judge them in the moment. Just write everything you think in the order it comes to you. It doesn’t matter if the thoughts overlap or if there are abrupt changes of subject. Write them down as if you were predicting the numbers of the lottery. When you blank out and there is nothing else to write down, read it peacefully and notice how you are talking to yourself. Are you being nice? Are you aware of your achievements? How do you comfort yourself in sadness? Considering how you treat yourself, would you be your friend? These answers are the password that unlocks another level of self-consciousness, and that, my friend, is like truly winning the lottery.
Why am I always chasing perfection?
“If I am good enough, I’ll be seen. Just by being good enough, I will be worth it.” That is what the Enneagram One feels deep down. Maybe, when you were a kid, you felt alone and didn’t recognize true references, or somehow you got the message that your needs weren’t valid enough. Or, perhaps you felt like you were always in debt with the present and so you always needed to pursue bigger things to be up to what it takes to make your ideals come true. No matter which message you get from others, the understanding that they are coming from different perspectives will empower you to create new ways of viewing yourself and your personality. This will allow you to find the truth and build new messages around who you genuinely are and to defend this truth as if it was the only one.
That is what the Enneagram One feels deep down. Maybe, when you were a kid, you felt alone and didn’t recognize true references, or somehow you got the message that your needs weren’t valid enough. Or pheraphs, you felt like you were always in debt with the present and so you always needed to pursue bigger things to be up to what it takes to make your ideals come true. Anyway, no matter which message you get, understanding that all the messages are constructions, will make you feel empowered to build and rebuild new messages around your existence and not always taking the same side, and defending the same truth as if it was the only one.
Why do I sometimes feel very frustrated and angry?
Anger is a curious thing. It kind of only exists as an indicator of something else, as in a fear or desire. Maybe you are scared of yourself, scared of what you could be if you loosen the rope that keeps you in place. You may think you are too rational, but the truth is that you put great effort into restraining yourself from exceeding the imaginary line you’ve created: the right place, the safe place. All this repression doesn’t allow you to breathe and explore life with freedom. If someone you love is always telling you how to behave in order to love you back, will you take it and feel loved by them?
How can I enjoy myself while chasing my dreams?
If you feel like you had no one you could look up to as a kid or if you went through painful or unpleasant experiences, then you have most likely created your own version of the world, a world that made you the best version of yourself and helped you make the most out of life. Having no references or connections with someone that inspired you might have eventually made you feel lonely and not loved at all. So, for you, becoming an adult means you are now the adult you yourself needed to have around when you were growing up. However, we always replicate what we learn and often can’t connect to that exemplar figure we have become. We separate our ideal self from our real self, as if they were completely different things. It’s as if our only valuable selves were those imaginary or made-up versions as opposed to our very own real self and the one that exists right here, right now, inside of us. Forgiveness is a truly powerful tool you can use to look without judgment at those who harmed you in the past, from whom you received the message you weren’t enough, and understand that they had similar needs to your own. We only give others what we can give ourselves.
Compatibility with Other Types
Find out how is your relationship with others Enneagram Types:
