You Are Most Like type 9:
The Peacemaker
The utopian who wants to keep heaven on Earth. Optimistic, a healer, and a serene spirit who wants to make peace a state of mind. Enneagram Type 9 usually avoids conflicts in order to keep a balanced and calm atmosphere. By increasing your mediation skills, you soften problems, although it could be better to face them.
CORE DESIRE:
Being at peace
CORE FEAR:
Being disconnected
Enneagram 9: Overview
Like a spring breeze, Nines wash the air away with peace and serenity. You are an honest and peaceful person who wants to live free in a harmonious environment. Naturally good, Enneagram Type 9s are purely nice company; you know how to connect with others. Bringing people together and sharing experiences are things Nines are good at. You avoid everything that brings you trouble, which sometimes turns into a passive attitude that can deeply hurt you. When the Peacemaker understands that boundaries, communication, and self-expression do not necessarily lead to conflict as they are just a display of self-love, you never lose yourself to conflict.
What Motivates you?
Peace of mind. Everyone wants that, but Type 9s are its first guardian. Nobody works harder than you to keep peace and serenity. Nines can’t stand tension and conflict. You have a bad time in that atmosphere. You feel nervous and distressed. It’s hard to live in that world—it’s a wild one. So, as a Peacemaker you realize that you feel safer surrounded by nice people. If other people are ok, then so are you. What happens if everything turns bad and Enneagram Type 9s feel threatened? Would you be able to respond the way it is necessary? You are scared of facing threats alone, stalked by danger. Madness and the world’s darkness freak Nines out, so you run to your safe space where everything is solved by singing, “Hakuna Matata.”
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How do you think?
If everyone around is good, if there is no tension, there is no danger. Type Nines plow the ground to sow peace, and it’s worth it. Everyone admires your temperance; you have that “je ne sais quoi” that self-controlled people often have. Enneagram Type 9s are naturally connected with life; in your best times you’re self-possessed and that’s something that brings calm to people around them. As a result, you create a peaceful environment, and everything flows like a river. In time, you learn to choose positive paths for yourself and to preserve your light. But in times of sorrow, you can become very dependent and complacent to avoid confrontation. As a Type 9, tough times can make you feel disoriented and extremely anxious since you dislike bad feelings and experiences. Although you know these times will pass by, you want them to end now! That could leave the Peacemaker with a passive attitude.
90%
very high
TRUSTING
You want to be a safe place for others
30%
very high
ENERGETIC
You have a difficult time getting started
65%
very high
CONFLICT-AVOIDANT
You really don’t like conflict
How do you love?
A hopeless romantic, as a Nine you merge with your lover. It’s easy to blend your life with your significant others, feeling complete, like it is actually your half-watermelon (orange is too acidic for your sweetness). This kung-fusion can drive you to constant disappointment and depression because it’s just an idealization. You dissociate easily from yourself, losing your identity and feeling ashamed, insecure, and in a loop of sadness. Love is too much turbulence for your balloon ride. The 9s are called The Utopians because of stubborness to maintain peace and harmony.
Love is always an intense bond, wave breaking, and this can destabilize you since you put in so much effort to preserve serenity in your relationships. You usually avoid conflicts, sweeping them under the carpet, and give in to comfort the other’s needs. As a Nine you need to be clear with your limits; this will help you to avoid falling into abusive relationships and de-dramatize conflict. It’s ok not to agree with the other; conflicts when approached on good terms can be another way to deepen the bond.
Enneagram Wings
Enneagram 9 Wing 8:
The Comfort Seeker
This subtype is defined by its constant pursuit of peace and an easy-going state of mind. If things don’t go as expected, you can react aggressively and expansively. You are naturally attractive as you are baffling and friendly at the same time, a one-of-a-kind blend that’s easy to recognize. This polarity could be adjusted if you learn to express your feelings at the right moment.
Enneagram 9 Wing 1:
The Dreamer
The Dreamers are great company, very pleasant and slow-paced. As you are ideal-based, you’re a wise and fair person who, with the influx of the 1s, knows how to synthesize different factors and distill a more human conclusion. With an agile mind and an air of reassurance, you are in the limbo between reality and utopia; you bring serenity to life but still have to accept the darkness to develop your own resources.
The Average Nine
Life is badly designed. Conflicts are really unnecessary. So, why pay attention to them? The more Nines face them, the more inner peace goes away. Enneagram Type 9s look like those cartoons that try to hold things up to keep them from falling by using their whole bodies: nose, ears, mouth, hands, and feet to hang glasses, forks, plates, and spoons. But, it just takes a single blow to make everything fall apart! Living this way, avoiding all problems can be exhausting and it takes a lot of self-repression. But, it’s OK; Type 9s feel covered, as long as things keep rolling calmly. Little by little, you put yourself last. Eventually, you claim recognition, but there is no record of your true feelings or needs so it’s hard to explain to others.
Little by little, you put yourself last. Then you claim recognition, but there is no record of your true feelings or needs so it’s hard to explain it to others.
The Healthy Nine
Peacemakers are inspiring and have a rare beauty. Your integrity, which brings everything inside you together, makes you feel great, have peace, and boosts your creativity. As a Nine you admire yourself and become more independent. You no longer get lost in other people. You express your feelings with harmony and security, because you know that expressing your will is not necessarily confrontation. Freedom and breathable air runs through Type 9s’ veins; you can expel natural peace from your spirit. Finally, you feel at peace and stop feeling abandoned. Enneagram Type 9s have the most important and pleasing company: themselves. Troubles and tension can happen, but you’ve learned to face them in their own way, so they are no longer a problem!
The Unhealthy Nine
The storm inside the calmness. Just bad weather and loneliness. How to get out of oneself? In an unhealthy state, Enneagram Type 9s are full of uncontrolled feelings. You feel anger, frustration, self-hatred, and you feel lost. All of your ignored creatures inside start an inner revolution. Calm is completely broken and Nines feel horrible, but why? Why is this happening to you if you prefer just the opposite? Well, conflict is part of life. The correct management of it could lead to growth, but ignoring it just deepens the wounds. It’s a time bomb that’s about to explode. And if the Peacemaker doesn’t have peace, you aren’t able to give it back to the world.
Tips to Help You Grow:
Don’t hide yourself from problems, 9! They are better than Sherlock Holmes and will find you. The best way to protect yourself and keep inner peace is to face whatever comes your way with your natural temperance. You don’t have to abandon yourself and get washed away by a river. Stand out with calm and steadiness, with that sense of humor and humanity you have, and with your sensitivity. All of these things that characterize you can help you create your way of approaching conflicts.
Say, “No,” when you want to. The peace you look after must be based on self-respect; if not, it’s just an illusion that sooner rather than later will push you far away from yourself. Learn how to communicate your feelings, decisions, and needs with kindness. Remember the reasons behind your choices and try to build a new order of peace by taking yourself into consideration. That seems more sustainable and long-lasting, don’t you think?
Your Main Challenges: How to address them?
SAY NO
No, man! Imagine you are Jim Carrey and just for a day you can only say no instead of yes to everything against your will. Be fair to you.
STAND BY
When things go wrong, stay. Even if you can only watch or say a few words, stay and be patient. Open your heart and mind. Everything is temporary.
BE YOU
Stand up for yourself. Set your boundaries and vindicate the concept of conflict in a friendly way so you feel more comfortable with it.
How To Be The Best Version Of The yourself?
How can I set boundaries without hurting someone else’s feelings?
Your natural kindness makes you always consider others feelings before yours. This is noble and a virtue of yours, but when you make decisions based solely on that, you can hurt your own feelings. Each person is responsible for themselves and their reactions. Relationships are just people merging their worlds with those of others. Others share themselves and get involved, but if you only think about pleasing others, you will live their lives and not yours. The best way to express yourself is to say directly what you desire, what you are able to do about it, what hurts you, and how you feel. You can’t manage other people’s reactions regarding your feelings. Due to your great gift of empathy, I’m sure that your subtle way of talking to others won’t hurt anyone. So, just make room for these situations and you’ll get more tools to manage problems and communicate.
What can I do to prevent conflicts from going out of control?
Sleep. Always sleep. And then, sit down and think about what the best thing is that you can do. Human problems are not math problems. There isn’t one single method to solve them. It would be good if they were that easy, but humans are complex and beautifully chaotic beings. The best way to approach these feelings is to observe first and then decide how to deal with them. There is no way but your way, the way that is more effective and healthiest.
I hate feeling troubled; how can I preserve my balance?
You hate that state of mind, but if you keep repressing yourself you won’t be able to change into a different state. Peace of mind comes from being true to yourself. Make sure you are not idealizing the relationship instead of truly living it. Don’t just glue your life together; fix it for good. Invest in your needs, develop your skills, improve your abilities, connect with yourself. And when anger or frustration knocks at your door, invite it in. Share a cup of tea and a good chat. Use your patience in your favor to heal yourself and understand the fine line between peace and passiveness, between taking care of yourself and leaving yourself aside. Draw these limits with love, tenderness, and clarity. Finally, express yourself without apologizing.
Why do I feel I’m always doing things wrong?
Avoiding conflicts is a matter of luck; one false step and it feels like you’re sliding right into it. Nobody can predict problems every time; sometimes they just happen and are a good way to improve our skills and evolve. Try not to fear your problems. With less fear, you can go through them with clarity. Knowledge and resources come from experience, so trust that every problem is temporary. Try to understand problems more objectively to avoid feeling overwhelmed. You know what they say, “If your problem has a solution, why worry? If your problem has no solution, why worry?”