You Are Most Like, Type 6:
The charming and indecipherable loyalist, the one who is steadfast with earnest gestures. The one that explores both extremes looking for what’s safe, and undeniably desires a faithful relationship to feel supported and accompanied.
To be secure and supported
Enneagram 6: Overview
The loyal, the faithful believer and the skeptical one. Yes, Enneagram 6 is kind of an embodied contradiction. With a sharpened analytical sense, you scan over people and the environment to detect any possible threats. People’s inconsistencies are clear red flags you don’t miss. Even written and proven things – as the ones we’re going to tell you here – need to win your trust. That’s intimately attached to your steady loyalty and to your values. This could make you very anxious and lead you to self-sabotage sometimes. As you only trust your own resources, life softens and you can take your loyalty and charm to the highest level.
The truth is – drum roll – nobody can hurt you, Six. Your strengths, your restless pursuit of a place to call home is like the light of a star that travels through space to reach the unknown. All you have been through shows that you can deal with anything, but you better work when you are open-hearted. Nobody knows what is ahead of us.
To let go of the rope and lower your defenses, you just need to feel supported. To finally find that place or person that makes you feel safe. But the problem is that you won’t find anything genuine by being defensive. Taking the risk is too much just yet.
How do you think?
“It’s either one way or the other, there’s no middle ground” – That’s your motto.
Although that works well for the rest of the people, you are different. You try to fit in a certain fixed position, but your willingness to find out the truth, what’s right and safe gets you bouncing from place to place, losing your well-known steadiness. You have the right to doubt everything, nothing can control you unless you allow it.
In other words, you are like Hannah Montana: you get the best of both worlds going back and forth between two poles, afraid to stay in the wrong place while slowly dying. The self-image you have is both weak and strong, capable and powerless, passive and aggressive, and so on.
You keep commitments and are loyal in relationships
You don’t like when plans change.
You can experience self-doubt or insecurity
How do you love?
In the field of love you are like a peacock. Hey, don’t underestimate the sexual power of a peacock. Their special plumage is designed to attract their potential mate’s attention. When you like someone you show out your virtues and securities and display yourself with extreme care for your appearance, irradiating security and a challenging attitude against authority.
Usually, you look up to powerful figures that inspire you and you measure yourself with them. You like to know where people stand so you’re constantly proving yourself to them and yourself as well.
Sometimes, when anxious or under stress, you react against people that support you which could hurt your relationship. Deeply, you are saying “Love me and I’ll be yours”, but sometimes it’s hard for other people to get to you, since you keep them distant hoping to be in control.
Enneagram 6 Wing 5:
Type 6s are outstanding and very practical people. You love standardized processes where everything is clear and done how it must be done. Politics and society issues bustle in your mind. Sometimes you withdraw from the world and get into the lonely side, but usually you enjoy being surrounded by familiar people. You don’t ask for advice and don’t talk too much about your plans since you hate feeling controlled.
Enneagram 6 Wing 7:
Hanging out, chilling and having a good time make your day and are leak points of your anxiety. Even though you like pleasing and chatting, you don’t like to dive profoundly into conversations. Commitments and work are sacred to you, and you take them very seriously. You do what it takes to protect your people.
The Average type Six
In an average state, you look for supportive people but at the same time you are afraid of losing your independence. That fine balance is hard to get because it may turn into a power competition since you are paranoid you might be deceived. Your analytic skills keep you always one step ahead so you feel prepared and safe for anything that might happen, even the worst case scenario. Slowly, you get into a constant alarm state that makes you defensive and react aggressively.
The Healthy type 6
Once you give yourself what you’re looking for in others, you feel the authentic freedom. There is no more need of holding your banners up elsewhere because you belong to yourself (by the way, what a graceful feeling. OMG!) and your defensive walls break down. Nothing is more silent than an open heart, all your mind noise will shush. The backwaters attract beautiful creatures, you will unfailingly find what you need to feel plenty. Faithful, hopeful and friendly. There is no need for any peacock mating performance. Your own energy is irresistible on itself. Your natural surrender to love finally seizes the moment. (Love me, Loyal Type, everyone wants to be loved by you)
The Unhealthy six
Suspicious and wounded, you may bark and bite if needed. You hope you don’t have to react like that. It’s not pleasant. But at the same time it feels good as you feel you are guarding your space. Loyalty and good values are very precious to you, so you believe they are hard to find and everyone deserves to get them from you. In the bottom of the darkness, you beg for support since you don’t trust yourself anymore. At the same time, if you’re not worth it, why trust people that approach you with good intentions? Everyone seems so cynical. Remember what Dumbledore said: “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”. It’s definitely real. It’s our story and pains talking to us, willing to be enlightened.
Tips to Help You Grow:
Choose your battles. Don’t let other people determine if you’re worth it and brave. When you feel the need to react to something, ask yourself which limits you defend. It’s good! You know you are brave but save up your energy and learn to manage it smartly.
Work on yourself! Stop trying to match the wrong people or places to your values, and suffering about it. Focus on finding the place where your values are valued (redundancy intended)
Watch Harry Potter, Forrest Gump or any movie that reminds you that no matter where you came from you need to make amends with your past and follow your intuition. Do what you must do whenever you feel you need to. There is nothing wrong with changing the path or reviewing values, taking care of your wellness and your natural self.
Open up and let your sparkle light up your world. Fear is constantly blowing but it can’t put out your fire if it comes from deep within your soul.
Your Main Challenges:
How to address them?
Let spontaneity take the command some times. Enjoying that will help you prove that not all the unexpected is bad. It’s just unexpected.
Say the things that bother you at the right time and in the best way you can. Don’t keep building that defensive wall.
Take Care of yourself. Review & change habits that don’t boost your health, in every field.
How To Be The Best Version Of The yourself?
How can I learn to trust?
The more you run after a safe place the faster you will lose sight of the ones that appear to be in front of you. You will be chasing after an ideal with particular features without valuable things around you. The excessive defensive attitude will keep bad but also good things away. Learn to distinguish who deserves your loyalty and who doesn’t. Your analytic sense will enhance your intuition.
You also could try to stop monitoring people around you. Conditional love is painful for anyone and you know it best. Don’t be scared of being cheesy and let your feelings and emotions flourish. And don’t forget to show it externally too. Given that Sixes belong to the Thinking triad, connecting with their feelings and body is an outstanding challenge that will surely help you channel the steadiness you are gifted with.
“Relax and take it easy” they say… but how?!
As a significant and famous modern guru once said: “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”. So ease your poor nerves, loosen up and lower your guard. It’s not worth it to get anxious in the process and wanting things right away. I can see you saying “Mother of God, I still have to relax! Where is the “relax” button? Where is it?!” Nothing’s more annoying than people saying in a high-pitched voice: “Just think positive”, or “look at the bright side”. In your pessimism and agony periods you only want someone to listen to you without saying. That’s good. We all want that sometimes, but deep inside it feels like you invite people to see you act in your own drama. If they throw you a rope to help you get out of quicksand, you get angry: “Don’t tell me what to do! Nobody was asking for help!”
How can I open up to people?
You are a natural troubleshooter, but when you are the one in trouble, you don’t want to get the solution handed to you. You rather keep on complaining and feeling self-pity. When that happens, try to breathe and make the effort to ask yourself what is causing the drama. What are the boundaries wounded by life or people? Are you capable of talking to someone about your real feelings aside from anger? Yes, of course you are! Let people get involved and take care of you by telling them how you feel.
I’m not good at forgiveness… what’s about that?
I know that part of being loyal is to let other people know how important your values are. A transgression could be very hard to forgive considering you understand forgiveness as bending the knee and allowing people to do whatever they want whenever they want. Paradoxically, you are giving your power away, losing self-control. That’s why your answer is to always react. Maybe you are wondering whether you are too soft and permissive, and all I’ve been saying feels like sending you to war with a magic wand – But look at Harry Potter! Forgiveness is beneficial to you, it’s not bending the knee. It’s trusting yourself, you already have the tools and resources you ever need to face whatever life’s box of chocolate gives you.
A knight is not made of weapons just like Harry Potter is not just his magic wand. The real power relies on you. In other words, you’ll always be in danger, if you don’t feel capable of taking care of yourself. Forgive you for those times you couldn’t protect yourself from pain, desillusion and mistreatment. It wasn’t your fault. There is nothing wrong with you. Go back to those moments, be the person you needed, tell you what you needed to hear.