You Are Most Like type 6:
The Loyalist
The charming and indecipherable loyalist, the one who is steadfast with earnest gestures. The one that explores both extremes looking for what’s safe, and undeniably desires a faithful relationship to feel supported and accompanied.
CORE DESIRE:
To be secure and supported
CORE FEAR:
Being insecure
Enneagram 6: Overview
The loyal one, the faithful believer, and the skeptic. Yes, Enneagram 6s are kind of an embodied contradiction. With a sharpened analytical sense, you scan over people and the environment to detect any possible threats. People’s inconsistencies are clear red flags Type 6s don’t miss. Even written and proven things—such as the ones explained here—need to win their trust. That’s intimately attached to Sixes’ steady loyalty and your values. This analytical sense can also make you very anxious and lead you at times to self-sabotage. As the Loyalist only trusts its own resources, you experience less anxiety and tension. This allows you to navigate life more smoothly, and you can take your loyalty and charm to the highest level.
What Motivates you?
The truth is—drum roll—nobody can hurt Sixes. Their strengths, their restless pursuit of a place to call home, is like the light of a star that travels through space to reach the unknown. All you have been through shows that Type 6s can deal with anything, but you work better when you are open-hearted. Nobody knows what is ahead of them; uncertainty is a part of life, and despite their strength and resilience, they cannot predict or control everything that will happen. To let go of the rope and lower your defenses, you, as an Enneagram 6, just need to feel supported, to finally find that place or person that makes you feel safe. However, the problem is that your inability to find anything genuine by being defensive gets in the way. You often find yourself feeling that you are not yet ready to take the risk to enter into a supported relationship that you deeply desire.
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How do you think?
“It’s either one way or the other; there’s no middle ground.” – That’s Enneagram 6’s motto.
Although having a middle ground can work well for the rest of the types, Sixes are different. You try to fit in a certain fixed position, but your willingness to find out the truth, what’s right and safe, gets you bouncing from place to place, causing you to lose your well-known steadiness. You feel you have the right to doubt everything; nothing can control you unless you allow it. In other words, the Loyalist is like Hannah Montana: you get the best of both worlds, going back and forth between two poles, afraid to stay in the wrong place. The self-image you have is both weak and strong, capable and powerless, passive and aggressive, and so on.
90%
very high
TRUSTWORTHY
You keep commitments and are loyal in relationships
30%
very high
SPONTANEOUS
You don’t like when plans change.
65%
very high
ANXIOUS
You can experience self-doubt or insecurity
How do you love?
In the field of love, Enneagram 6s are like a peacock. (Hey, don’t underestimate the sexual power of a peacock. Their special plumage is designed to attract their potential mate’s attention.) When as a Six you like someone, you present your virtues and securities and display your appearance with extreme care, radiating security and a challenging attitude against authority. Usually, as a Type 6 you look up to powerful figures that inspire you and you measure yourself with them. You like to know where people stand, so you’re constantly proving yourself to others and to your own self as well.
Sometimes, when anxious or under stress, Enneagram Sixes react against people who are supportive which can hurt relationships. Deeply, Type 6s are saying, “Love me and I’ll be yours,” but sometimes it’s hard for other people to understand you since you keep distant in an effort to be in control.
Enneagram Wings
Enneagram 6 Wing 5:
The Defender
This kind is known for being very practical and for loving standardized processes. The Defender is interested in politics and social issues; you like to have your own opinion to reassure your values. You’re lonely but also love to be surrounded by familiar faces. The contradictions of being a Defender overwhelms you sometimes. As you’re quite attached to your beliefs, you can get very self-critical and hypervigilant.
Enneagram 6 Wing 7:
The Buddy
This is a subtype that definitely loves to be around people, just chilling out and having a good time. While other types tend to withdraw into themselves to avoid their problems, the Buddy goes off and gets distracted to face them. This type knows how to have fun without forgetting important commitments, which you take seriously. You are also protective and witty, and when you feel in danger, you can get suspicious. Your main challenge is choosing which battles to fight.
The Average Six
In an average state, Enneagram Type 6s look for supportive people but at the same time are afraid of losing independence. That fine balance is hard to achieve because it may turn into a power competition since you are paranoid you might be deceived. As a Six, your analytic skills keep you always one step ahead so you feel prepared and safe for anything that might happen—even the worst case scenario. Slowly, as a Type 6 you find yourself getting into a constant state of alarm which makes you defensive and react aggressively.
The Healthy Six
Once, as an Enneagram Type 6, you give yourself what you’re looking for in others, you feel authentic freedom. There is no more need of holding your banners up elsewhere because you belong to them (this is such a graceful feeling!) and your defensive walls break down. Nothing is more silent than an open heart; all the mind noise will shush. The backwaters attract beautiful creatures; when Sixes create a calm and open environment within, you will attract positive and beautiful experiences and people into your lives. As a Type 6 you will unfailingly find what you need to feel complete. Faithful, hopeful, and friendly. There is no need for any peacock mating performance. Your own energy is irresistible in itself. Your natural surrender to love finally seizes the moment.
The Unhealthy Six
Suspicious and wounded, Sixes may bark and bite if needed. You hope you don’t have to react like that—it’s not pleasant. Still, at the same time it feels good as you feel you are guarding your space. Loyalty and good values are very precious to Enneagram Type 6s, so you believe they are hard to find and everyone deserves to receive these from you. In the bottom of the darkness, as a Type Six you beg for support since you don’t trust yourself anymore. At the same time, if you’re not worth it, why trust people that approach you with good intentions? In your mind, everyone seems so cynical. Remember what Dumbledore said, “Of course, it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” It’s definitely real. What is happening inside your head are humanity’s story and pains reaching out, willing to be enlightened.
Tips to Help You Grow:
Choose your battles. Don’t let other people determine if you’re worth it and brave. When you feel the need to react to something, ask yourself which limits you defend. It’s good! You know you are brave, but save up your energy and learn to manage it intelligently. Work on yourself! Stop trying to pair the wrong people or places to your values and find suffering as a consequence. Focus on finding the place where your values are valued (redundancy intended).
Watch Harry Potter, Forrest Gump, or any movie that reminds you that no matter where you came from you need to make amends with your past and follow your intuition. Do what you must do whenever you feel you need to. There is nothing wrong with changing your path or reviewing values, taking care of your wellness and your natural self. Open up and let your sparkle light up your world. Fear is constantly blowing, but it can’t put out your fire if it comes from deep within your soul.
Your Main Challenges: How to address them?
TRUST
Let spontaneity take the command sometimes. Enjoying this will help you prove that not all the unexpected is bad. It’s just unexpected.
VULNERABILITY
Say the things that bother you at the right time and in the best way you can. Don’t keep building that wall of defense.
SELF-CARE
Take care of yourself. Review & change habits that don’t boost your health—in every field.
How To Be The Best Version Of The yourself?
How can I learn to trust?
The more you run after a safe place the faster you will lose sight of the ones that appear in front of you. You will be chasing after an ideal with particular features without noticing the valuable things around you. Your excessive defensive attitude will keep bad—but also good—things away. Learn to distinguish who deserves your loyalty and who doesn’t. Your analytic sense will enhance your intuition. You also could try to stop monitoring people around you. Conditional love is painful for anyone, and you know it best. Don’t be scared of being cheesy and let your feelings and emotions flourish. And don’t forget to show it externally too. Given that Sixes belong to the Thinking triad, connecting with their feelings and body is an outstanding challenge that will surely help you channel the steadiness you are gifted with.
“Relax and take it easy” they say… but how?!
As a significant and famous modern guru once said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” So, ease your poor nerves, loosen up, and lower your guard. It’s not worth it to get anxious in the process and wanting things right away. I can see you saying, “Mother of God, I still have to relax! Where is the “relax” button? Where is it?!” Nothing’s more annoying than people saying in a high-pitched voice, “Just think positive,” or “Look at the bright side.” In your pessimism and periods of agony you only want someone to listen to you without speaking. That’s good. We all want that sometimes, but deep inside it feels like you invite people to see you act in your own drama. If they throw you a rope to help you get out of quicksand, you get angry. “Don’t tell me what to do! Nobody was asking for help!”
How can I open up to people?
You are a natural troubleshooter, but when you are the one in trouble, you don’t want to get the solution handed to you. You would rather keep on complaining and feel self-pity. When this happens, try to breathe and make the effort to ask yourself what is causing the drama. What are the boundaries wounded by life or people? Are you capable of talking to someone about your real feelings aside from anger? Yes, of course you are! Let people get involved and take care of you by telling them how you feel.
I’m not good at forgiveness…what is this about?
I know that part of being loyal is to let other people know how important your values are. A transgression could be very hard to forgive considering you understand forgiveness as weakness—bending the knee and allowing people to do whatever they want, whenever they want. Paradoxically, you are giving your power away, losing self-control. That’s why your answer is to always react. Maybe you are wondering whether you are too soft and permissive, and all I’ve been saying feels like sending you to war with a magic wand; but, look at Harry Potter! Forgiveness is beneficial to you, it’s not bending the knee. It’s trusting yourself; you already have all the tools and resources you will ever need to face whatever life’s box of chocolate gives you. A knight is not made of weapons just like Harry Potter is not just his magic wand. The real power lies within you. In other words, you’ll always be in danger if you don’t feel capable of taking care of yourself. Forgive yourself for those times you couldn’t protect yourself from pain, disillusionment, and mistreatment. It wasn’t your fault. There is nothing wrong with you. Go back to those moments, be the person you needed, and tell yourself what you needed to hear.
Compatibility with Other Types
Find out how is your relationship with others Enneagram Types:
