Enneagram Type 7 in A Relationship with Type 9
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship?
This Enneagram combination is one of the most seen pairs since each party can bring an interesting mix of qualities to the relationship. First things first, Sevens and Nines are both positive people: they are optimistic and high-spirited, and try to keep conflicts and negativity away from their lives and relationships. They are also usually sociable, friendly and happy with themselves and life. None of them is typically introspective or reflective in any way: they rather move on than look back or obsess over past disappointments and failures.
Their positive attitude allows them to forgive other people and themselves, forget past mistakes and make the best out of their limitations. No matter if they are physically separated or whether they have few financial means, Sevens and Nines can make the best of any circumstance and focus on their shared future. They both tend to be practical and funny, always ready to make even the most mundane situation a pleasant moment.
As for their particularities: Sevens are more active and decided than Nines. They are usually the ones that take the initiative, make plans and provide the amount of energy the couple needs. They are also curious, confident, fun and open to new experiences. While Nines bring a sense of steadiness, calm and support to the relationship. They also tend to be more sympathetic and soft-hearted, as well as more relaxed than Sevens. As a result, Nine’s simplicity and straightforwardness can mix well with more assertive Sevens. As long as they don’t take advantage of each other, there can be a good balance between high-energy and relaxation in this couple.
Potential Conflicts and Disagreements
One of the main potential problems for this couple is their inability to work through negative or painful aspects of life or the relationship itself. As both of them are characterized by their positivity, they try their best to keep things positive and avoid even thinking of future problems or just having a hard time. Since they don’t know how to deal with disagreements and conflicts, they usually tend to put the blame on the other. They both also tend to get anxious, critical, and nervous when dealing with stress. They also tend to deny their own share of responsibility for the decay of the relationship or their own lack of communication when problems come up.
On one hand, Sevens have the ability to talk about whatever is bothering them with ease since they act more impulsively and say whatever comes to their mind. Besides, they may also feel frustrated by Nines’ attitude as they can be perpetually irresolute, slow, and ineffective. As a result, Sevens’ criticisms regarding Nine’s unresponsiveness only makes them retreat further and disconnect from the situation. Nines may collapse due to Seven’s demands and withdraw into silence and inaction.
If pressure, demands and high-expectations continue over time, Nines may shut down even more, while having occasional outbursts of anger and anxiety. To sum up, one of the sunniest Enneagram combinations can turn into a stormy one if they become unwilling or unable to really talk to each other.