Enneagram type 1 in A relationship with type 8
How Does Each Enneagram Type Enhance the Relationship?
Enneagram type 1s (Reformers) and Enneagram Type 8s (Challengers) have many similarities. One of them is their true desire to fight for truth and justice. Although it might be in different ways and for many different reasons, they often feel that it’s their responsibility to stand against injustice or inequity when they see it. Both Enneagram types tend to perceive themselves as people whose duty is to protect the weak and defenseless, to fight the wrong and to make the world a better place.
Both these types are action-oriented. So, if they point their energy and attention towards social causes, they will achieve big goals not only for their family, but also for their community, country, and the world itself. Both of them are willing to make big sacrifices for what they believe is right. They are known for their virtue, vision, purposefulness, practicality, and perseverance in supporting whatever they believe in. Generally speaking, Enneagram type 1s bring a sense of ideal truths and justice to the table, whereas Enneagram type 7s bring a more practical and immediate approach to these concepts held by Reformers. This combination can be truly powerful; as they have a clear sense of purpose and an unequivocal personal mission, they can achieve many things together.
On one hand, Ones can find Eights to be exciting, fun, passionate, and physical – all traits they generally repress. On the other hand, Eights admire Ones’ conviction and recognize that Ones are as firm, decisive, purposed, and determined as they are. Although some people think that these two types are opposites, they can both learn a lot from each other, making their relationship a really nutritive one. All of this is possible if they are willing to be open-minded and accept different reactions, values, and ideas.
Possible Conflicts and Differences of Opinion:
It’s important to take into account that the same motives that once united them can be the ones that will break them up: their striking differences, as if they were fire and ice. They can easily be friends or colleagues, but they make a particularly rare romantic match, making intimacy between them a little rough. Both of them want to be in charge and accomplish significant things (nothing bad, right?). Nevertheless, sometimes it’s impossible for them to agree on the means and paths to be taken.
On one hand, Ones tend to be self-controlled and inflexible. They often deny themselves the pleasure of acting on their real desires and impulses due to their moral convictions and inflexibility. That is one of the reasons why they admire the ideas, freedom, and creativity of Eights: they go after whatever they want. However, when Ones see their partners going too far in the pursuit of their self-interest, they might consider them as selfish, insensitive, untrustworthy, and self- centered. They admire their bravery, but they know how much chaos and destruction it could create in their lives.
On the other hand, Eights consider Ones as hypocritical, rigid, self-righteous, and utterly unrealistic about the way the world works. Often Eights will act outrageously to provoke morally judgmental Ones. In these situations, both respond with anger and get into rigid positions and feel they can’t back down. Violent arguments may also arise, resulting in personal attacks. In these types of relationships solutions might be difficult to find once a certain line has been crossed.
