You Are Most Like, Type 8:
Eights are natural leaders. Will and power sparkle at their hands. You want to rule the world and stand out, and you do so because you are the most outstanding type.
To be independent
Being controlled or harmed
Enneagram 8: Overview
Ready to set your kingdom up, you step up into life with strength. Self-assertive and always showing a half-smile, you want the world to know you are here. Not scared at all. It showed you how harsh and dangerous things could be, so now it’s your time to show it how fearless and outstanding you are. Your finger tickles for power. You will never settle for something small, as you know you have the ability to go up and up. If you know how to play your cards and learn to control your over controlling obsession, surely you’ll thrive and inspire others as the star you are. Just learn to pick your battles and to connect.
I can see you walking through long halls in slow motion while [insert your soundtrack here] plays in the background. Eight, you are the lion of the Enneagram. You love to be in charge, doing things your way as you think that’s the best for everyone. We appreciate that, 8 (shaking).
Your life is based on protecting yourself from everything and everyone, but with an aggressive response. You don’t wait for the world to attack, you go first. You impact and establish what you want. Nothing more, nothing less… ok, maybe more is better.
How do you think?
Being soft? That’s for marshmallows. As they see you, they treat you. That’s why you worked really hard to build your powerful and respectable persona. You think the world is tough – and you are not wrong – but it makes you always be on guard. Nobody challenges you easily, and if they dare to do so, you fight back even harder. Enforcing your self-confidence and your self-assertive attitude. They see you as huge and unbreakable, and this image you project also reinforces your own beliefs. It’s easy for you to go around with your heart bursting with pride. You think your value relies on always being in control. Otherwise, you feel helpless and scared to death of being hurt.
You’ll do whatever it takes to set your way
You need to be in control,
so you can’t relax
You love empowering others
How do you love?
Love can be another fighting zone for Type 8s. You keep on restlessly demanding what you want from your lovers. You feel good when dominating the relationship and you try to fit them into your expectations or to mold them often. That could cause some tension or hurt the bond. But, there is a natural fighting instinct in you, if there is no tension and challenges to the relationship you’ll sooner rather than later get bored.
Anyone would think that once you are in a safe place, like an intimate bond, you could lower your guard. But no, quite the opposite. The more vulnerable you feel, the more aggressive you can get. So it’s common for you to be competitive in love. If you open your heart, your lover should know that’s a huge deal.
Enneagram 8 Wing 7:
Charismatic and entrepreneur, you move through the world and things with total calm and agility. Your mind is always finding the way to do big things. You are not insignificant, you love to challenge other people to overtake their possibilities as you do the same to yourself.
Enneagram 8 Wing 9:
Combination of power with calm determination. As the bear, you know that independence and cycles are related. You know how to ease other people and wait for the right moment. Realist and more interested in creating bonds.
The Average type 8
In an average state, you are as self-assertive as always although sometimes you could feel stripped off of resources and silently succumb to fear. To make up for that you have to strengthen your methods and expand yourself. You want to feel in control of any situation, you become combative and hostile. Just waiting for the moment to show other people you are in charge or in advantage. As you can see, the powerful energy of the 8s makes their average a bit extreme. So, imagine the strength that you carry on your hands. But, as Uncle Ben once said: “With great power comes great responsibility”.
The Healthy type 8
When healthy, you don’t need to demonstrate you are always in charge of everything. You open-heartedly know that trusting other people (following your instinct) could be fruitful. Now your power rises from the bottom of true confidence and peace with the world. It’s not necessary to be on guard, it’s exhausting, then you know that being ok with you, you are never alone. Self-assertive and ingenious, you make things happen. People get inspired by you and your strong presence. Strategic and determined there is nothing that resists your will. Unstoppable, your natural leadership skyrockets without conflicts with the environment and other people because it comes from a safe place and it’s constructive. Self-reliant, you know you can do anything and you know it from your soul, not your ego.
The Unhealthy type 8
The constant feeling of danger makes you paranoid and aggressive. You protect yourself by being a step forward and displaying your power before someone even thinks of hurting you. Pain and fear are so difficult to face and they make you feel so weak that you start with self-destructive attitudes without considering the limits or danger. Isolated behind your power mask, your main fear comes true, the world turns into a wilder place full of threats and you are alone. This increases your hate driving you to be vengative and delay your pace in anger.
Tips to Help You Grow:
We have all seen a stray dog that barks at anyone and tries to bite whoever tries to feed them. Poor doggie! They say and go off. The same thing happens with 8s in an unhealthy state. I know, you don’t want to hurt people, it’s an instinct! But when your animal side takes over you, just take a few minutes – or the time you need- to breathe and identify what woke up the beast in you. Which boundary have you trespassed? Have you let other people know about that boundary – even if it’s obvious for you? What do you need to calm down? A hug, a word, silence? If someone offers that, lower the guard and accept it gratefully.
Friendly reminder: when people are scared of you, that’s not power, it’s fearful respect. If you put up a sign saying “Bad Dog, Do Not Trespass”, people won’t approach you. But that has a price: solitude. We need to create bonds, a network of people that support each other. Sometimes that involves showing our vulnerability, which won’t make you look like a gazelle for a lion. Strengthness – the real one – comes from the power that grows when we are true to ourselves.
Your Main Challenges:
How to address them?
Let people act and things flow. This will give them social skills and trustworthy evidence-based data, to feel resourceful later in the most important situations.
Cultivate honest and deep bonds with loyal people. Try to learn with them to lower the guard, without abandoning yourself. Go step by step, building your safe space.
Remember nobody and nothing can damage your essence. It can not be damaged. Forgive yourself and open your heart again.
How To Be The Best Version Of The yourself?
But, I truly know that’s best for everyone. Why should I not tell people how to do things?
I know. You have the gift of being strategic and ambitious. As a result you have the perfect way to do things, you see the potential in any situation. But there’s a problem. You self-proclaim yourself as “boss” sometimes, when nobody is asking for it. That brings you conflicts and unleashes your defense mechanisms. Suddenly, you are like a doll abandoned on the roof, all beaten up but still smiling. Let me tell you something: Find your path to legitimacy.
You know you got leader material, you’re not shy to show it off but that doesn’t mean anything to other people just because you say so. You need to take your time to build trustworthy bonds, learn how to communicate with assertiveness and positiveness. People need to know you are competent and consistent. Choose when is important to lead and when is convenient to let go of the control.
Why should I lower the guard?
As you are self-reliant there’s no need to be on guard all the time. You understand that usually people don’t attack others, they just reflect their own inner wars. You choose if it’s necessary to react. It’s easy to confuse reaction with control to make others respect you. Contrary to what you think, when you react you’re playing the game by someone else’s rules. When you’re able to see that everyone is in charge of their own attitude, you will see how others are fighting alone in the ring. That’s how absurd you look sometimes too. Being independent takes choosing your battles.
If the outside can’t hurt you, there is no need to defend yourself. We only see threats, when we feel stripped off resources.
I don’t want people to see me as vulnerable. Is there another way to do all this?
Hide. Go to an island or even go crazy otherwise it’s impossible. You’ve learned for good that you need to be self-protective, it was a painful process but you have done it really well. You know how to go out and about with an indestructible look. Nobody wants to mess with you. On the other hand, sometimes you beg – silently of course – for deeper relationships. Then you remember that it’s best if you move alone at your own pace and it goes away. But, hey, being vulnerable is not being weak. Paradoxically, in vulnerabilities we find the tools that strength uses to defend ourselves. Vulnerability has the answer to not feeling helpless. Update your mindset with all the things you avoid from yourself. Your past. The world. And accept them. Facing these things will help you conquer your life and make your self-assertiveness flourish from the bottom of your unbreakable power.
I’m going to paraphrase Tyrion from GOT: “Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.”
I was born to be someone important. Should that be my goal?
Of course, my friend. You got it all. I’m pretty sure you are going to achieve whatever you want. But there is just one thing that gets in the way: you. Bend the knee for you. Stop fearing and rely on yourself. You can protect yourself. You’re safe, it’s ok. Now, without your own war projecting everywhere you are able to take action on the matter that summons you at the present. Oh, I almost forgot: you were born important. Always remember that because it’s the raw material for your next huge creation.