But, I truly know that’s best for everyone. Why should I not tell people how to do things?

I know. You have the gift of being strategic and ambitious. As a result you have the perfect way to do things, you see the potential in any situation. But there’s a problem. You self-proclaim yourself as “boss” sometimes, when nobody is asking for it. That brings you conflicts and unleashes your defense mechanisms. Suddenly, you are like a doll abandoned on the roof, all beaten up but still smiling. Let me tell you something: Find your path to legitimacy. 

You know you got leader material, you’re not shy to show it off but that doesn’t mean anything to other people just because you say so. You need to take your time to build trustworthy bonds, learn how to communicate with assertiveness and positiveness. People need to know you are competent and consistent. Choose when is important to lead and when is convenient to let go of the control.

Why should I lower the guard?

As you are self-reliant there’s no need to be on guard all the time. You understand that usually people don’t attack others, they just reflect their own inner wars. You choose if it’s necessary to react. It’s easy to confuse reaction with control to make others respect you. Contrary to what you think, when you react you’re playing the game by someone else’s rules. When you’re able to see that everyone is in charge of their own attitude, you will see how others are fighting alone in the ring. That’s how absurd you look sometimes too. Being independent takes choosing your battles. 

If the outside can’t hurt you, there is no need to defend yourself. We only see threats, when we feel stripped off resources. 

I don’t want people to see me as vulnerable. Is there another way to do all this?

Hide. Go to an island or even go crazy otherwise it’s impossible. You’ve learned for good that you need to be self-protective, it was a painful process but you have done it really well. You know how to go out and about with an indestructible look. Nobody wants to mess with you. On the other hand, sometimes you beg – silently of course – for deeper relationships. Then you remember that it’s best if you move alone at your own pace and it goes away. But, hey, being vulnerable is not being weak. Paradoxically, in vulnerabilities we find the tools that strength uses to defend ourselves. Vulnerability has the answer to not feeling helpless. Update your mindset with all the things you avoid from yourself. Your past. The world. And accept them. Facing these things will help you conquer your life and make your self-assertiveness flourish from the bottom of your unbreakable power. 

I’m going to paraphrase Tyrion from GOT: “Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.” 

I was born to be someone important. Should that be my goal?

Of course, my friend. You got it all. I’m pretty sure you are going to achieve whatever you want. But there is just one thing that gets in the way: you. Bend the knee for you. Stop fearing and rely on yourself. You can protect yourself. You’re safe, it’s ok. Now, without your own war projecting everywhere you are able to take action on the matter that summons you at the present. Oh, I almost forgot: you were born important. Always remember that because it’s the raw material for your next huge creation.