Enneagram Type 4 in A Relationship with Type 7

Enneagram Type 4 The Individualist

How Does Each Enneagram Type Enhance the Relationship?

Enneagram Fours and Sevens tend to be intrigued by each other as they are proof that opposites attract. Fours tend to be quiet, introverted, insecure, emotional, and pessimistic, while Sevens tend to be outgoing, extroverted, self-confident, rational and optimistic. 

Sevens help Fours overcome shyness and their reluctance to try new experiences. While Fours help Sevens stay focused on what really matters to them and to respect their feelings. This duo brings their differences burden and mystery to the relationship, as they think and react differently, and find pleasure in very different ways. At the same time, these differences intrigue them, so they find their partners endlessly fascinating, and always ready to do something new and unexpected.

Both Fours and Sevens have the ability to find joy and ecstasy everywhere, and also spontaneity, emotion, and passion. They both love lively conversation and they can spend hours sharing with each other every detail of their daily events as well as their thoughts and reactions. Both Fours and Sevens love the good things in life: traveling, good food, wine, clothes, and furnishings, and they both tend to overspend their incomes on what they consider life’s bare necessities: caviar, champagne, and, why not, another trip to Europe. 

They both love novelties and have a sense of adventure and romance that can keep their relationship fresh and alive, and be a source of joy and inspiration for others. Both types can be funny, irreverent, and entertaining. There is also an earthiness and bawdiness to both these types, and paradoxically, a sophistication and elitism. Being opposites, Fours and Sevens can balance each other: Fours bring a sense of depth and interiority, while Sevens contribute with a sense of fun and emotional resilience.

Possible Conflicts and Differences of Opinion:

Because they are different in many ways, Fours and Sevens have several strong points of attraction, which would otherwise likely lead to a miss connection between them. Unless some strong passion (romantic, mental, or spiritual) keeps them together, they are likely to fly apart, especially if there are any disagreements or conflicts early in the relationship. Both types tend to be impulsive and easily frustrated with others when they get disappointed or if their life doesn’t go as expect. 

Both these Enneatypes have high standards when it comes to the type of attention and the quality interactions they expect from their significant other. When those standards are not met, they don’t usually give second chances as they need to show others their worth. While Fours may admire and even secretly envy Seven’s resilience and high energy, they may also find themselves worn down by their fast-paced lives and their several plans and activities. 

Fours can see Sevens as too noisy, superficial, and insensitive and occasionally even mean although they don’t realize it. While Sevens may admire and try to copy Four’s artistic flair, creativity, and appreciation for beauty, they can also see Fours as hypersensitive, ineffective, impractical, moody, and self-absorbed. In addition, if the relationship worsens, Fours usually become more withholding and hostile, getting at Sevens from a safe distance. Sevens then become more impatient, abrasive, and can be even verbally abusive. 

Fours will want to talk about everything that has gone wrong in the relationship in detail. Sevens, on the other hand, typically want to move on to something more promising and upbeat. The result is unresolved problems and once the relationship moves towards its end, pretty much everything they admired and felt attracted by on the other becomes annoying and insufferable. 

Get to know your Enneagram Compatibility with Other Enneagram Types