Enneagram type 2 in A relationship with type 8
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship?
These Enneagram types are more similar to each other than what they appear to be at first, as they are both action-oriented and have deep feelings (a soft side that is often hidden.) They can also both play the roles of providers, guardians and supporters of others while avoiding or even denying their personal needs. Although they might have different reasons in mind, both tend to be the strong ones in the relationship.
These Enneagram types bring enthusiasm, liveliness, interpersonal and social skills, and generosity to the relationship. Despite having many common traits, their ultimate goal is absolutely different: Twos are primarily interested in the wellbeing of others while Eights are primarily interested in their own wellbeing and having a clear impact on their world. In a romantic relationship, they will easily play the role the other needs: Eights are determined and care about results, whereas Twos are more people-oriented and openly altruistic.
Eights also truly adore Two’s affection and worshipping, while Twos enjoy Eight’s strength and hidden self-sacrifice. Both see each other’s values and qualities and can be each other’s supporters and admirers. Their roles in the relationship are also clearly established, which makes them a balanced couple: each deal with specific areas of their lives and never get in each other’s way. All of these qualities make them powerful partners in crime who complement each other.
Potential Conflicts and Disagreements
The main problems between these Enneagram types are related to their value systems and their interpersonal styles.
On one hand, Twos tend to be more empathetic and less straightforward than Eights. They are able to see things from the perspective of others and empathize with people around them. Twos also are loving and caring people. An average Two generally becomes highly attached to people and are completely attentive about their needs. On the other hand, Eights tend to be more direct and independent. They see things from their own self-interest, feeling that people need to learn how to take care of themselves before taking care of others. An average Eight tends to be proud of their determination and unsentimental way of dealing with people and situations. Therefore, in a relationship, Twos and Eights have very different priorities and values that might make their relationship shaky. In addition, Twos and Eights tend to go in opposite directions and have clashing views on how to treat others. They can also fight over whose philosophy will prevail in the relationship. Eights can be hard-hearted and confrontational, which can lead Twos to be more and more possessive and dependent.
The problem is that instead of feeling rejected, Twos may get obsessed and get caught in a codependent relationship with their partner. Twos can become apologists of their partner’s bad behavior; thus, encouraging them to keep with their self-destructive habits. This means that this couple might not break up as quickly as others would, but they could drag each other down without seeing their mutual trap. Ultimately, if the cycle continues, there might be overtones of paranoia, fears of betrayal and acts of revenge.