Enneagram type 1 in A relationship with type 6
How Does Each Enneagram Type Enhance the Relationship?
Enneagram type 1 (Reformers) and Enneagram type 6 (Loyalists) are similar in many ways. They are usually recognized for being hard-working, serious-minded people with a strong sense of duty and honor. They both honor truth and commitment, and they also desire to serve people around them and make the world a better place. These Enneagram types have a strong sense of purpose, often led by strong beliefs and ideals. On one hand, Ones bring reasoning, calmness, and clarity to the relationship, along with the abilities to think clearly under pressure and make big decisions quickly.
They are pretty sure of themselves and their opinions; so, Enneagram type 1s often serve as the leader in a One-Six relationship. They’re the ones in charge of decision-making and are responsible for any consequences that might come from it. They also bring a concern for order and consistency, logic, and elegance (traits that Enneagram type 6 might lack).
On the other hand, loyalists bring warmth, emotional responsibility, generosity, and playfulness, which Reformers think is adorable and makes them think twice about their mindsets. They also have the ability to connect with people in a more direct and human way than Reformers. If their fundamental beliefs are in alignment, these qualities are really attractive to Reformers and can make this couple a dynamic and stable one. This couple really takes responsibility in relationships and, as they can count on each other, they have room to relax. This romantic match not only shares burdens and chores equally, but they also feel that they can count on each other since they are steadfast, loyal, and faithful to each other.
Possible Conflicts and Differences of Opinion:
What could be the potential clashes in their relationship? During stressful situations, Reformers generally become more critical of everyone, including themselves and their partner. As they are a clear example of “just responsibilities, no fun”, it gets difficult to be around them even on an average level. Type 1s might feel that type 6s aren’t trying enough, aren’t serious enough, or aren’t mature or meticulous enough—at least not as much as Ones are—which can often lead to accusations and resentment.
As Reformers get more and more stressed, their partner gets more and more emotionally reactive, insecure, and worried. What Loyalists see instead is a partner that is critical and rejecting, which can make them feel even more insecure and anxious. This can lead to Loyalists questioning the future of the relationship or feeling that it isn’t meant to be. If tensions continue, type 6s will get increasingly defensive and evasive; they will also tend to work longer hours than they used to in order to stay away from home and avoid spending time with their partners. They start becoming absent or completing just the bare minimum. They will also find it difficult to talk directly about their feelings and fears. As a result, there will be little to no communication between them.
In this scenario, they can get even more inconsistent and unreliable for their partners and these reactions can fuel type 1’s disappointment, frustration, and resentment. In the worst-case scenario, Reformers may find Loyalists’ anxiety and defensiveness quite frustrating and might get angry, cold, and critical towards them. Anger, resentment, and accusations can be part of the picture as the relationship deteriorates.
