Enneagram Type 5 in A Relationship with Type 6
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship?
Although there are significant differences between them, both Fives and Sixes are intellectual types. They both respect each other’s minds and knowledge, as well as their expertise and technical skills they possess. They may start as colleagues with a shared professional interest which may set the basis for a friendship and eventually develop into a love relationship. Both these types respect detail, objectivity and avoiding letting personal bias influence their opinions.
As a pair, they both work really well when dealing with crises and stressful situations because they can adjust well to danger and use their experience to solve problems. On one hand, Fives can offer emotional stability, calmness, objectivity, detachment, bravery and an unusual curiosity. They’re also aware of their ability to think for themselves and consider new ideas. Fives also tend to be more skeptical than Sixes and reject any type of authority over them. On the other hand, Sixes can bring firm values and ideas that make them less objective people than Fives, but also more passionate. Due to their sensitiveness, Sixes are more empathetic and compassionate human beings. They are also a little insecure and often look up to some sort of authority for guidance and advice. Sixes’ devotion and understated caring can overwhelm Fives, who tend to isolate.
That way, as a couple, these Enneagram types tend to have a symbiotic relationship of doubt and decision, questions and answers, problems and solutions that may never end. For this relationship to work, there must be an unshakable trust between them: they may arrive at different conclusions, but they know that their hearts and minds are in the right place.
Potential Conflicts and Disagreements
The main issues for this couple have already been mentioned above. Fives and Sixes usually think in diametrically opposed ways and often arrive at completely different conclusions. As they are both intellectual and emotional, tension is an ingredient that will never be missing in their relationship.
On one hand, Sixes tend to look for guidance and opinion on how to proceed and they are usually guided by directives, procedures and protocols. They tend to build their arguments meticulously and ponderously, so that they can feel unquestionable. On the other hand, Fives tend not to consider or take very little into account any opinion’s common consensus.
If communication between them breaks down, Fives may consider Sixes to be too conservative and insecure when it comes to their thoughts and actions while Sixes may get nervous about making a mistake since they don’t want to be criticized at all. Fives seem too independent to Sixes, and also unable to work within a system or group.
Sixes look for security and having something to believe in and they don’t need Fives’ endlessly vivid catastrophic imagination, while Fives want to find the objective truth of everything around them. In short, each of them can feed each other’s sense of powerlessness and hopelessness: Fives can see Sixes as closed-minded people and fanatics whereas Sixes think Fives are weird, too isolated, and unnecessarily impractical. Without hard work, this romantic pair of emotional opposites might feel they worked better as colleagues than love partners: while one wants to put out fires, the other wants to play with matches.