Enneagram Type 4 in A Relationship with Type 5

Enneagram Type 4 The Individualist

How Does Each Enneagram Type Enhance The Relationship?​

Both Enneagram types have the right qualities to bring emotional richness and humanity to their love relationship. They are both emotionally intense and are characterized by their strong feelings and emotions. They like depth, so they don’t mind taking time to explore things deeply and express their feelings openly. Although Enneagram Fours and Fives may have different interests, they respect each other’ different perspectives and the desire to follow their own paths.  

Fours tend to be moved by emotion, so they bring openness, introspective habits and sensitivity to their relationship. They help Fives stay in contact with their personal self and feelings. While Fives tend to be more intellectual, so they like asking questions and are usually interest in a wide variety of topics. Fives captivate Fours by showing them their world views and different perspectives with a depth that Fours really enjoy. 

Both types are creative people and love to share their findings and knowledge with other. This means that both of them enjoy open communication and talking about topics they both find exciting. The hallmark of their relationship is the intensity of their ordinary conversations and the sincere interest they have in each other. 

Besides, each of them brings a remarkable sense of humor and a soft spot for bizarre or unusual things, which gives their relationship its own character. They have the ability to tolerate whatever the other comes up with and none of them is easily shocked. They generally find each other thrilling, and they support each other’s ideas, which allows them to be whoever them want.

Possible Conflicts and Differences of Opinion:

One of the main potential problems for this couple has to do with their different emotional levels. On one hand, Fours are emotionally deep and need more contact and intimacy than Fives, which can make them overly demanding. Fours may think Fives are too intellectual and will analyze them rather than sympathize with their emotional needs. They may also feel that Fives are often unavailable, too detached, uncaring and unresponsive to have a relationship with. 

On the other hand, Fives are reflective people who enjoy detachment and having their own space even when in a love relationship. This makes them a little bit reclusive and private. If they don’t have the privacy they need, they may think Fours’ needs drain their valuable time and energy. 

Fives may also feel that Fours’ sensitivity shows their lack of rationality or immaturity, which can be a potential danger to the relationship’s stability. In the lower level, Fours might seem insecure due to their deep instability. They can get easily frustrated as the amount of attention they get from Fives is not exactly what they look for. As a result, they may go after Fives until they get any sor of response. 

Usually, Fives tend to retreat first, feeling overwhelmed by Fours’ escalating needs and demands, which tends to trigger more demands and questionings on Fours’ side. Fours need to appreciate the minimalist emotional style of Fives, while Fives need to appreciate Fours’ temper and emotions.

Emotional reactions to confront emotional detachment and rationality can lead them to an impasse that will eventually end in a breakup.

Get to know your Enneagram Compatibility with Other Enneagram Types