Enneagram Type 3 in A Relationship With Type 3

Enneagram Type 3 The Achiever

How Does Each Enneagram Type Enhance the Relationship?

As with every double-type relationship, two Threes generally bring the same qualities to the relationship. This may have a positive and a negative side since their shared traits may be the main source of attraction as well as one of their main inconveniences. In double-type relationships, the health level of each person is particularly important. In this pairing, there is usually a particular interest in achievements, excellence, opportunities, their capability of doing things by themselves and the relationship credits.

Additionally, as both of them are hard-workers, they are always looking for different ways to improve and are willing to share any benefits with their loved ones. On one hand, Threes have great social skills and enjoy being around people. They are usually charming and introduce themselves in a flattering way. Some Threes are less sociable than other and more concerned with business and their financial status and security, but they also want themselves and the relationship to be outstanding and admired by others. Each of them wants the other to feel proud and to be considered a worthy partner. As a pair, they are famous for their closeness, team spirit and personal devotion. 

This type of Enneagram connection can form an extremely effective association that is likely to be successful in virtually everything they pursue since they are constantly motivating each other, encouraging them to achieve their goals and life purposes. That is why, they are always willing to give each other time to pursue their own interests and self-development. They always coordinate their efforts to be a working team that really supports each other. They can sometimes act as their partner’s coach, helping them to improve and get what they want. In many ways, a double-three couple generally gives the impression of being an ideal couple: they are attractive, energetic, ambitious, focused, and exceptional.

Possible Conflicts and Differences of Opinion:

Problems may arise if two lower-functioning Threes start comparing themselves to each other. In unhealthy relationships, the competition spirit can destroy their bond and undermine the pride and generosity they once felt towards each other. Even if they have different professions, a couple of Threes may compare their success, incomes, their chances of promotion and even their experience. If one of the members gets a particular job or gets promoted, this might be a pressure on the other to get something similar or even more prestigious. Additionally, one of them or both may feel that the relationship is too time consuming and they focus on their own career path and the pursuit of success. 

When Threes compete, one of them might feel like they are sacrificing their potential future for the sake of the relationship while the other is getting ahead at their expense. As double Three couples put a lot of energy into their professional success; children, relatives and friends may also feel despised and threatened. One of the biggest obstacles for double Three couples is that none of them is particularly aware of their true feelings or their heart’s desire. Besides, they don’t know how to put their feelings into words and speak their truth. Despite that, they can still be each other’s trophies, but double Three couples don’t know how to talk to each other about what is going on with them. Eventually, these communication problems can lead to isolation and depression, and finally result in a breakup.

Get to know your Enneagram Compatibility with Other Enneagram Types