Enneagram type 2 in A relationship with type 4
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship?
This couple has the potential to be warm and affectionate if both parties continue to openly share their feelings and emotions over time. Both these Enneagram types look for love and connection and are willing to offer it too when they find the right person for them. If they manage to have a healthy connection, they can be a safe place for each to share their dreams, hopes, fears, and insecurities. They feed off of each other: Twos bring energy and social abilities to the relationship, and give Fours the self-esteem to be open and interact with others.
Their most prominent traits are: warmth, thoughtfulness, moral sense, generosity and encouragement. They are also highly practical, action-oriented and willing to do what needs to be done, no matter how unpleasant or unglamorous it might be. On the other hand, Fours bring a sense of humor, creativity and emotional honesty to the relationship. They’re also subtle and caring, allowing Twos to feel more relaxed and nurtured.
They also bring emotional depth, delicacy, a touch of mystery and unpredictability, and also sensuality and sexual freedom to their relationship. Fours invite Twos to take a closer look at their needs and seek for their inner truth while Twos appreciate Four’s subtlety and nuances. They can lighten each other up with unexpected humor and invite the other to get to higher levels of emotional maturity. This connection also helps them forget about what others think about them and become more inner-oriented.
Potential Conflicts and Disagreements
This Enneagram combination makes quite a rare pairing in intimate relationships and they usually work better as colleagues or friends. Although they are a natural fit in some areas – Twos being the rescuers and Fours the rescued ones, they are sometimes too emotional and demanding which could be an issue. Even though these emotional issues they have in common allow them to fully understand each other, they also lay the ground for potential conflicts since they both need intimacy and quickly hold onto anyone who responds to it.
On one hand, Twos think Fours are too moody, unstable and often driven by their unconscious impulses and desires. They also see Fours as hypersensitive and selfish: they don’t care about others as much as they care about themselves. On the other hand, Fours find Twos too sentimental and artificially optimistic. They think Twos are kind of dishonest and shifty as to get what they want from people around them, which Fours fully despise. For them, Twos are secretly needy and emotionally insecure, desperate to get other people’s approval.
As a result of their differences, Fours might feel secretly jealous of Twos social life and the aura created around them. They might feel socially inept and overshadowed by their Four’s charm. All of these can increase Fours’ feelings of abandonment and make Twos feel increasingly unappreciated by their partner. They will both end up considering each other way too emotionally needy and demanding, which they don’t think they will be able to stand on the long run.