Enneagram type 1 in a relationship with type 5
What Does Each Type Bring to the Relationship?
Enneagram type 1 (Reformers) and Enneagram type 5 (Investigators) are alike in many ways, especially in their reluctance to express their emotions directly. Although Fives are more mental and Ones like their ideas and philosophies to have practical ramifications; both consider themselves empirical people.
They both provide objectivity to the relationship to avoid falling into sentimentalism. That’ how they protect their mental clarity. Also, both of them share a rich mentally stimulating life, full of curiosity and mutual interests.
This is one of the many reasons Ones and Fives enjoy each other’s company. In their relationship there’s always room for intellectual stimulation, debating and admiration for each other’s expertise and intelligence. This couple is highly respectful of each other’s boundaries: they don’t usually make the first move unless they have pretty strong signals that they will be welcomed. This is how Ones and Fives bring certain formality and courtesy to the relationship, which can make the couple seem a little old-fashioned.
On one hand, Enneagram type 1s bring logic and order, attention to details, systematic thinking, and a desire to improve the world around them. On the other hand, Enneagram type 5s bring curiosity, a profound taste for the bizarre and illogical and fondness for disorder, chaos, and lack of apparent purpose. If romance between Reformers and Investigators develops, it will be slowly but deeply.
Potential Conflicts and Disagreements
What are the potential issues between Ones and Fives? Even though these two make a great mix, they’re also opposites in important areas which can eventually lead to confrontations and a sudden break up. On the one hand, Enneagram type 1s have the tendency to believe in the objectivity of certain truths and their conviction. They feel that all of their ideals, values and philosophy have given them some form of ultimate Truth, and they live according to it.
On the other hand, Enneagram type 5 doesn’t believe in an objective truth. They think there are endless interpretations of any reality and, although people may reach a certain degree of consensus, that does not mean that it reflects anything completely objective. It just means that there are groups of people that out of faith or conviction decide to think the same way. In a relationship, both parties find it difficult to open their minds and change their own life philosophy. Ones can divert into different types of fundamentalism while Fives may become provoking nihilists and they both find it difficult to fully empathize with someone that thinks differently. Ones can sometimes feel like Enneagram 5s are impractical and concerned with irrelevant stuff, while Fives might feel that Enneagram 1s are too rigid and serious.
If they don’t find a way to understand their differences and accept each other’s opinions, coldness and isolation may come into the relationship and last for years. They might become too self-sufficient and live their lives in completely separate spheres and only get together for occasional social events, to sleep, or to solve urgent issues.